found this beautiful winter poem and thought
it might be a comfort to you. It was to me, and
it's very well written.
' WINTER '
a poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre
' SHIT, It's Cold ! '
The End
Friday, December 28, 2007
Dear God, I ask you to keep me clean and sober, and I believe you can restore me to sanity and I ask you to do that for me now and throughout this day... Heavenly Father, I offer myself to You, to build with me and do with me as You would. I ask You to relieve me of the bondage of self, that I can better do Your will. Take away my problems, that victory over them would bear witness to those I would help through Your Power, Your Love, and Your way of life... I ask for the grace I need to overcome myself, particularly in those situations where I tend to fall back into self, into my will and into fear.I ask that Your Holy Spirit give me guidance and direction-clear vision of what Your will is in all situations... My Creator,I am willing that you should have all of me, both the good and the bad. I pray that you will remove from me every defect of character that would limit my ability to be of maximum service to You and my fellows... I pray that Your Love will fill my heart-that I may spread Your Love throughout the world, touching everyone I come into contact with in a good and positive way. And that Your Love will help me to see the good in all people and situations... I ask You to bless all those people that aid in my recovery and that contribute continued growth-particularly my children, my sponsor, sponsees, and those people that touch me everyday. Bless them with Your Grace, Your Love and with all good things...And now Heavenly Father, as I go forth to live this day...I ask You to go with me...guide me, protect me and show me the way. Help, me to live this day in a way that is truly pleasing to you. Amen.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
I just woke up and thought you might have opened your present from me! Glad you liked everything.
I was picturing us getting up years ago........"Let's go see what Santa brought!" There were these two little girls yesterday I gave bikes, too, that seemed like they had a bond like us. They were like 4 and 7 years old and you should have seen the looks on their faces when I gave them their pink bikes to ride!
A funny thing happened. There were just a few kids left from Sunday's giveaway that I couldn't stop thinking about because they weren't on my list so they didn't get one. Well, I made another trip to WalMart and those were the kids I saw yesterday who were totally shocked and delighted that I came back.
When I turned down the street with my window rolled down (beautiful summer day here!), I heard "The bike lady is here!" kinda like I was the ice cream man or something! I got to thinking I hope that doesn't happen every time I turn into the neighborhood now! :)
Anyway, it was the most magnificent experience and just made my Christmas season.
We even were able to get one for a single Mom who has been walking to her 2 jobs in the rain!
Love you and will talk to you soon and Merry Christmas!
Cindy
I was picturing us getting up years ago........"Let's go see what Santa brought!" There were these two little girls yesterday I gave bikes, too, that seemed like they had a bond like us. They were like 4 and 7 years old and you should have seen the looks on their faces when I gave them their pink bikes to ride!
A funny thing happened. There were just a few kids left from Sunday's giveaway that I couldn't stop thinking about because they weren't on my list so they didn't get one. Well, I made another trip to WalMart and those were the kids I saw yesterday who were totally shocked and delighted that I came back.
When I turned down the street with my window rolled down (beautiful summer day here!), I heard "The bike lady is here!" kinda like I was the ice cream man or something! I got to thinking I hope that doesn't happen every time I turn into the neighborhood now! :)
Anyway, it was the most magnificent experience and just made my Christmas season.
We even were able to get one for a single Mom who has been walking to her 2 jobs in the rain!
Love you and will talk to you soon and Merry Christmas!
Cindy
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
To view this e-mail as a Web page, click here.
Editor's Note
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don't normally begin anything with a quote. But just this once, I'll break my own cardinal rule because the quote is fitting for this, my final editor's note to you.
I've had the pleasure of editing this publication for four years now, and during that time, I've observed that authorship gets better with time. I'm always elated to receive news of your success, whether in completing chapter one or in discovering the path to the perfect book signing.
This month, we focus on giving back to the community. In the Author Corner, we feature Reg Green and his stories of organ and tissue donation, including his own family's unforgettable donation experience. The Marketing Feature contains ideas for how you can give back to your community while generating interest in your book. And in AuthorHouse News, we announce the recipients of the 2007 Authors Across America publishing grants.
Let me leave you with one final inspiration: Keep writing, and as Emerson suggested, we'll each become better authors and book marketers with each passing word.
Kind regards,
Erica Dorocke (vip@authorhouse.com)
Editor
In This Issue:
Reg Green captures the transformative power of organ and tissue donation.
Author Corner >>
___________________________________
Darryl Rosen writes about covering the middle miles in business and publishing.
The Writer's Sense >>
___________________________________
Give back to your community by donating your book, time and expertise.
Marketing Feature >>
___________________________________
Six steps to make 2008 the year you publish your book.
Writing Feature >>
___________________________________
AuthorHouse helps make book publishing dreams a reality for deserving organizations.
AuthorHouse News >>
Author Corner
Reg Green Captures the Transformative Power of Organ Donation
Some moments in life change your worldview forever. For Reg Green, that moment happened in 1994 while on a family vacation in Italy. On the main road south of Naples, highway bandits fired two shots into the Green family's rental car, mistaking it for a jewelry delivery vehicle. When the family stopped at the scene of an unrelated accident to summon the Italian authorities, they realized the dire truth. "When the interior light came on, my son Nicholas didn't move," says Green.
Read more >>
The Writer's Sense
Darryl Rosen Covers the Middle Miles in Business and Publishing
I started running marathons when I was thirteen years old, the same year I began working in the family business. In those days, I thought running and working were simple and easy; I didn't know any better. After college, and a couple years of public accounting, I got a big shot of reality. My experience inspired me write my first book, Surviving the Middle Miles: 26.2 Ways to Cross the Finish Line with Your Customers, to help readers become successful in business and life by surviving the middle miles.
Read more >>
Marketing Feature
Giving Back to the Community
Millions of shoppers are looking for the perfect gift, making the holiday season a prime selling opportunity for your book. But the true spirit of the holidays is more about giving than buying, and you can give back to your community while marketing your book to new readers.
Read more >>
Writing Feature
Six Steps to Publish Your Book in 2008
With Christmas just a few days away, the New Year's resolution season is in full effect. Last year, we highlighted the top 10 resolutions for writers. Those tips can help people start writing and keep at it, but several AuthorHouse authors have asked about specific goals to publish a book. If you're ready to make 2008 the year you publish, consider these crucial steps.
Read more >>
AuthorHouse News
AuthorHouse Helps Make Book Publishing Dreams a Reality for Deserving Organizations
AuthorHouse announced it will help three deserving organizations this year. The Denver School Museum, SKIP, Inc., and the Rainbow Repertory Theatre will each realize their dream of publishing a book through a standard paperback publishing package grant through AuthorHouse's Authors Across America initiative.
Authors Across America, designed to inspire literacy and encourage authors to get published, is in its inaugural year of granting publishing services to educational and service-based organizations.
"Through this grant, we are giving a diverse group of writers who wouldn't normally have access to book-publishing resources the opportunity to have their voices heard," said Terry Dwyer, AuthorHouse's vice president of sales. "We're pleased to help these organizations achieve their goals through book publishing."
Read more >>
AuthorHouse Bookstore Top Sellers
Surviving The Middle Miles: 26.2 Ways To Cross the Finish Line With Your Customers
Darryl Rosen
Energy Transcendence: A Guide for Living Beyond the Ordinary Range of Perception
Dr. Larry Lytle
A Gift in Wolf's Clothing: Life With Diabetes
Rachel A. Gifford, RN, MN, CDE
Plum Gum and Other Chunk Poems: Teacher tested kid approved poems for building fluency through phonics
Adele Tolley Wilson
Montauk: The Disappearances
Richard Prince
See the top 100 sellers>>
Conferences & Events to Attend Contests to Enter
Find inspiration and education at a writers' conference near you in 2007.
View Conferences & Events >> Ready for a challenge? Put your writing to the test by entering one of these featured contests.
Contests to Enter >>
Author Corner | Writing Feature | Book Marketing | AuthorHouse News | Conferences | Contests
Editor's Note
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don't normally begin anything with a quote. But just this once, I'll break my own cardinal rule because the quote is fitting for this, my final editor's note to you.
I've had the pleasure of editing this publication for four years now, and during that time, I've observed that authorship gets better with time. I'm always elated to receive news of your success, whether in completing chapter one or in discovering the path to the perfect book signing.
This month, we focus on giving back to the community. In the Author Corner, we feature Reg Green and his stories of organ and tissue donation, including his own family's unforgettable donation experience. The Marketing Feature contains ideas for how you can give back to your community while generating interest in your book. And in AuthorHouse News, we announce the recipients of the 2007 Authors Across America publishing grants.
Let me leave you with one final inspiration: Keep writing, and as Emerson suggested, we'll each become better authors and book marketers with each passing word.
Kind regards,
Erica Dorocke (vip@authorhouse.com)
Editor
In This Issue:
Reg Green captures the transformative power of organ and tissue donation.
Author Corner >>
___________________________________
Darryl Rosen writes about covering the middle miles in business and publishing.
The Writer's Sense >>
___________________________________
Give back to your community by donating your book, time and expertise.
Marketing Feature >>
___________________________________
Six steps to make 2008 the year you publish your book.
Writing Feature >>
___________________________________
AuthorHouse helps make book publishing dreams a reality for deserving organizations.
AuthorHouse News >>
Author Corner
Reg Green Captures the Transformative Power of Organ Donation
Some moments in life change your worldview forever. For Reg Green, that moment happened in 1994 while on a family vacation in Italy. On the main road south of Naples, highway bandits fired two shots into the Green family's rental car, mistaking it for a jewelry delivery vehicle. When the family stopped at the scene of an unrelated accident to summon the Italian authorities, they realized the dire truth. "When the interior light came on, my son Nicholas didn't move," says Green.
Read more >>
The Writer's Sense
Darryl Rosen Covers the Middle Miles in Business and Publishing
I started running marathons when I was thirteen years old, the same year I began working in the family business. In those days, I thought running and working were simple and easy; I didn't know any better. After college, and a couple years of public accounting, I got a big shot of reality. My experience inspired me write my first book, Surviving the Middle Miles: 26.2 Ways to Cross the Finish Line with Your Customers, to help readers become successful in business and life by surviving the middle miles.
Read more >>
Marketing Feature
Giving Back to the Community
Millions of shoppers are looking for the perfect gift, making the holiday season a prime selling opportunity for your book. But the true spirit of the holidays is more about giving than buying, and you can give back to your community while marketing your book to new readers.
Read more >>
Writing Feature
Six Steps to Publish Your Book in 2008
With Christmas just a few days away, the New Year's resolution season is in full effect. Last year, we highlighted the top 10 resolutions for writers. Those tips can help people start writing and keep at it, but several AuthorHouse authors have asked about specific goals to publish a book. If you're ready to make 2008 the year you publish, consider these crucial steps.
Read more >>
AuthorHouse News
AuthorHouse Helps Make Book Publishing Dreams a Reality for Deserving Organizations
AuthorHouse announced it will help three deserving organizations this year. The Denver School Museum, SKIP, Inc., and the Rainbow Repertory Theatre will each realize their dream of publishing a book through a standard paperback publishing package grant through AuthorHouse's Authors Across America initiative.
Authors Across America, designed to inspire literacy and encourage authors to get published, is in its inaugural year of granting publishing services to educational and service-based organizations.
"Through this grant, we are giving a diverse group of writers who wouldn't normally have access to book-publishing resources the opportunity to have their voices heard," said Terry Dwyer, AuthorHouse's vice president of sales. "We're pleased to help these organizations achieve their goals through book publishing."
Read more >>
AuthorHouse Bookstore Top Sellers
Surviving The Middle Miles: 26.2 Ways To Cross the Finish Line With Your Customers
Darryl Rosen
Energy Transcendence: A Guide for Living Beyond the Ordinary Range of Perception
Dr. Larry Lytle
A Gift in Wolf's Clothing: Life With Diabetes
Rachel A. Gifford, RN, MN, CDE
Plum Gum and Other Chunk Poems: Teacher tested kid approved poems for building fluency through phonics
Adele Tolley Wilson
Montauk: The Disappearances
Richard Prince
See the top 100 sellers>>
Conferences & Events to Attend Contests to Enter
Find inspiration and education at a writers' conference near you in 2007.
View Conferences & Events >> Ready for a challenge? Put your writing to the test by entering one of these featured contests.
Contests to Enter >>
Author Corner | Writing Feature | Book Marketing | AuthorHouse News | Conferences | Contests
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Adoptive Support
To the editor: Thank you so much for your story “Healing Humpty-Dumpty” (April 6, 2005) on the TCU Child Development Institute’s adoption program, which I read recently. I placed my birth daughter for adoption in August 2000, so this article meant a lot to me. Thankfully she has never exhibited any destructive tendencies, but then I never abused or neglected her, either. Placing her for adoption was the hardest and smartest thing I ever did, and every day it is confirmed for me that I made the right decision when I witness her life unfolding before my eyes — a life she would’ve never had with me.
I think it’s great that these adoptive parents are getting the support they need and that much is being done to address these problems in kids who are adopted internationally.
Terri Rimmer
Fort Worth
To the editor: Thank you so much for your story “Healing Humpty-Dumpty” (April 6, 2005) on the TCU Child Development Institute’s adoption program, which I read recently. I placed my birth daughter for adoption in August 2000, so this article meant a lot to me. Thankfully she has never exhibited any destructive tendencies, but then I never abused or neglected her, either. Placing her for adoption was the hardest and smartest thing I ever did, and every day it is confirmed for me that I made the right decision when I witness her life unfolding before my eyes — a life she would’ve never had with me.
I think it’s great that these adoptive parents are getting the support they need and that much is being done to address these problems in kids who are adopted internationally.
Terri Rimmer
Fort Worth
Monday, December 17, 2007
My dog's name is Ripley because the day he showed up in my driveway he was already acting like a guard dog. And I thought, what's a good tough movie character? Ripley from "Alien." I don't look like my pet except when I need another dye job. If I could speak my pet's language, I'd say, "I couldn't have done it without you."
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Subject: How Your Help Is Keeping Dogs Out of the Cold This Winter
Notes on Angel for Animals Doghouse Deliveries (November 16, 2007)
"We dropped off two houses at the address. The dogs were again super-friendly. We removed the useless shelters that they had and set up two new homes for the dogs. We removed LOTS of broken glass, feces, etc., and set up new bowls for food and water. What I remember most about this stop was how good the dogs were while we worked. Because of the incredibly short chains, we had to dig, chop, and rake right next to the dogs. They didn't mind at all."
"This location had a young dog living inside a small pen on a concrete slab, with a tipped-over trash can for shelter. We provided a new house and moved the pen to a grassy area. We also put in some extra straw and reinforced the bottom of the pen as much as we could so that the dog wouldn't be able to dig his way out. Again, lots of treats, food, and water were provided. A caseworker will follow up with this one too."
Dear Terri,
Thanks to your support, 496 dogs can look forward to shelter in sturdy doghouses through the frigid winter months this year and for many years to come.
There are so many dogs facing months of sleet and snow while they are chained in freezing back yards with only the most decrepit shelter, if any. Helping these dogs is the reason why PETA created the "Angel for Animals" program.
For the past nine winters, PETA has driven into low-income, depressed areas and provided hundreds of durable, solid doghouses--free of charge--to dogs who otherwise would have to endure the bitter wind, ice, and snow without any shelter or with just a piece of metal or board up against the fence. Each doghouse is built to last and filled with straw bedding to help provide what--for some dogs--is the first feeling of warmth and comfort they've ever known.
Could you provide a doghouse for such a "forgotten dog" this holiday season?
Since its start, I've seen firsthand exactly how this program has improved the lives of needy dogs. The "before" photos can be deeply upsetting: dogs chained like bicycles to trash cans or trees or attached to a heavy chain--all of which is legal in the areas we visit. It's the dozens of "after" photos of these dogs' happy faces that illustrate how much dogs need the basic, vital comfort that sturdy, straw-filled shelter can provide.
You tax-deductible sponsorship gift will make a huge difference in the life of a needy dog.
Your Angel for Animals sponsorship gift of $265 can provide one durable, solid, lasting doghouse to a dog facing the cold of winter, long night after long night.
Your Angel for Animals gift of $530 can give homes to two dogs in need.
Your Angel for Animals gift of $1,325 can provide straw-filled doghouses for five dogs.
Please take a moment to read the firsthand account from an Angel for Animals worker who has delivered these doghouses. You'll see how, with your help, an Angel for Animals doghouse sponsorship can bring the joy and warmth of the holiday season to a dog who has never known love or comfort.
Thank you for everything you do for animals.
Kind regards,
Ingrid E. Newkirk
President
Notes on Angel for Animals Doghouse Deliveries (November 16, 2007)
"We dropped off two houses at the address. The dogs were again super-friendly. We removed the useless shelters that they had and set up two new homes for the dogs. We removed LOTS of broken glass, feces, etc., and set up new bowls for food and water. What I remember most about this stop was how good the dogs were while we worked. Because of the incredibly short chains, we had to dig, chop, and rake right next to the dogs. They didn't mind at all."
"This location had a young dog living inside a small pen on a concrete slab, with a tipped-over trash can for shelter. We provided a new house and moved the pen to a grassy area. We also put in some extra straw and reinforced the bottom of the pen as much as we could so that the dog wouldn't be able to dig his way out. Again, lots of treats, food, and water were provided. A caseworker will follow up with this one too."
Dear Terri,
Thanks to your support, 496 dogs can look forward to shelter in sturdy doghouses through the frigid winter months this year and for many years to come.
There are so many dogs facing months of sleet and snow while they are chained in freezing back yards with only the most decrepit shelter, if any. Helping these dogs is the reason why PETA created the "Angel for Animals" program.
For the past nine winters, PETA has driven into low-income, depressed areas and provided hundreds of durable, solid doghouses--free of charge--to dogs who otherwise would have to endure the bitter wind, ice, and snow without any shelter or with just a piece of metal or board up against the fence. Each doghouse is built to last and filled with straw bedding to help provide what--for some dogs--is the first feeling of warmth and comfort they've ever known.
Could you provide a doghouse for such a "forgotten dog" this holiday season?
Since its start, I've seen firsthand exactly how this program has improved the lives of needy dogs. The "before" photos can be deeply upsetting: dogs chained like bicycles to trash cans or trees or attached to a heavy chain--all of which is legal in the areas we visit. It's the dozens of "after" photos of these dogs' happy faces that illustrate how much dogs need the basic, vital comfort that sturdy, straw-filled shelter can provide.
You tax-deductible sponsorship gift will make a huge difference in the life of a needy dog.
Your Angel for Animals sponsorship gift of $265 can provide one durable, solid, lasting doghouse to a dog facing the cold of winter, long night after long night.
Your Angel for Animals gift of $530 can give homes to two dogs in need.
Your Angel for Animals gift of $1,325 can provide straw-filled doghouses for five dogs.
Please take a moment to read the firsthand account from an Angel for Animals worker who has delivered these doghouses. You'll see how, with your help, an Angel for Animals doghouse sponsorship can bring the joy and warmth of the holiday season to a dog who has never known love or comfort.
Thank you for everything you do for animals.
Kind regards,
Ingrid E. Newkirk
President
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian
youth's rite of passage?
His father takes him into the forest,
blindfolds him and leaves him alone.
He is required to sit on a stump the whole
night and not remove the blindfold until the
rays of the morning sun shine through it.
He cannot cry out for help to anyone.
Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.
He cannot tell the other boys of this
experience because each lad must come
into manhood on his own.
The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear
all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely
be all around him. Maybe even some human
might do him harm. The wind blew the grass
and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat
stoically, never removing the blindfold.
It would be the only way he
could become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night, the sun
appeared and he removed his blindfold.
It was then that he discovered his
father sitting on the stump next to him.
He had been at watch the entire night,
protecting his son from harm.
We, too, are never alone.
Even when we don't know it,
our Heavenly Father is watching over us,
sitting on the stump beside us.
When trouble comes, all we have
to do is reach out to Him.
Moral of the Story:
Just because you can't see God,
doesn't mean He is not there.
youth's rite of passage?
His father takes him into the forest,
blindfolds him and leaves him alone.
He is required to sit on a stump the whole
night and not remove the blindfold until the
rays of the morning sun shine through it.
He cannot cry out for help to anyone.
Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.
He cannot tell the other boys of this
experience because each lad must come
into manhood on his own.
The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear
all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely
be all around him. Maybe even some human
might do him harm. The wind blew the grass
and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat
stoically, never removing the blindfold.
It would be the only way he
could become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night, the sun
appeared and he removed his blindfold.
It was then that he discovered his
father sitting on the stump next to him.
He had been at watch the entire night,
protecting his son from harm.
We, too, are never alone.
Even when we don't know it,
our Heavenly Father is watching over us,
sitting on the stump beside us.
When trouble comes, all we have
to do is reach out to Him.
Moral of the Story:
Just because you can't see God,
doesn't mean He is not there.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
"I have to live for him"
Leukemia patient and Glamour editor Erin Zammett Ruddy is ecstatic to be a mom—and determined to always be there for her son.
In 2001 Erin Zammett Ruddy, now 29, was diagnosed with chronic myelogenous leukemia (CML), a cancer that until recently proved fatal for many patients. For almost six years she’s been taking a lifesaving drug called Gleevec and chronicling her experiences in these pages. Last December Erin went off it to get pregnant; fortunately, the disease stayed at bay. Now she’s back on her meds and trying to enjoy her baby as she struggles with her uncertainty over the future.
View Erin’s baby album
With Alex, my tiny miracle, two days after he was born
Late the other night, Nick and I were sitting in bed and obsessing over Alex, our three-month-old: Was he eating enough, sleeping enough, you-know-what-ing enough? And then, out of the blue, Nick told me that every night since I’d given birth, he’s lain awake thinking of me dying and him raising our son alone. “Your sisters even start encouraging me to date,” he said, revealing just how detailed his imaginings had become. My stomach knotted up. I asked him how old Alex is in his scenario. “Young,” he said, and turned his head away. “Don’t be crazy,” I told him, wiping tears from my face, trying, as always, to be strong, positive and upbeat. “I’m not going anywhere.” But the truth is, I’ve been thinking about the same thing.
So happy and so scared
In some ways, it’s still hard to believe Alexander James Ruddy is here (that’s partly because I’ve blocked out the 12 hours of labor and delivery). Even as I watched my belly grow, I refused to acknowledge that I’d risked my life to get pregnant. Since Gleevec enabled me to live like a normal person, I focused on that, rather than fretting about what could happen. These days, though, I am worrying about myself and letting my mind go to dark places. I can’t help it. I’m a cancer patient and a mother—two identities that don’t mix very well. Doctors don’t know for sure how long Gleevec will keep me in remission. What would happen if it quit working? How could I ever leave Alex without a mommy?
These thoughts haunt me when I’m rocking Alex in his chair, giving him Eskimo kisses and humming lullabies I can’t remember the words to. I stare down at him and want to say a million things—that he is worth every ache and worry, that I promise I will never leave him—but as soon as I start talking, I cry. I just can’t get the words out. The most I can whisper is “I love you” before my tears start dripping onto his chubby little cheeks. Sometimes, they’re tears of joy; sometimes, they’re tears of fear. I’ve cried more since having Alex than I ever did in my entire life.
Of course, I don’t want Alex to think his mommy is a freak, so we do other things besides crying. We watch The Ellen DeGeneres Show, go for long walks along the Hudson River and make up silly songs; my current favorite is the one about Alex peeing in his own face, which I let him do once (rookie error). I’m trying hard to focus on how beautiful he is—and how lucky I am. Six years ago I didn’t know if I would live to see my next birthday. Next month I turn 30, and Nick and I have a healthy baby boy. Someday, I hope, I’ll be able to get the words out to tell Alex just what he means to us.
Leukemia patient and Glamour editor Erin Zammett Ruddy is ecstatic to be a mom—and determined to always be there for her son.
In 2001 Erin Zammett Ruddy, now 29, was diagnosed with chronic myelogenous leukemia (CML), a cancer that until recently proved fatal for many patients. For almost six years she’s been taking a lifesaving drug called Gleevec and chronicling her experiences in these pages. Last December Erin went off it to get pregnant; fortunately, the disease stayed at bay. Now she’s back on her meds and trying to enjoy her baby as she struggles with her uncertainty over the future.
View Erin’s baby album
With Alex, my tiny miracle, two days after he was born
Late the other night, Nick and I were sitting in bed and obsessing over Alex, our three-month-old: Was he eating enough, sleeping enough, you-know-what-ing enough? And then, out of the blue, Nick told me that every night since I’d given birth, he’s lain awake thinking of me dying and him raising our son alone. “Your sisters even start encouraging me to date,” he said, revealing just how detailed his imaginings had become. My stomach knotted up. I asked him how old Alex is in his scenario. “Young,” he said, and turned his head away. “Don’t be crazy,” I told him, wiping tears from my face, trying, as always, to be strong, positive and upbeat. “I’m not going anywhere.” But the truth is, I’ve been thinking about the same thing.
So happy and so scared
In some ways, it’s still hard to believe Alexander James Ruddy is here (that’s partly because I’ve blocked out the 12 hours of labor and delivery). Even as I watched my belly grow, I refused to acknowledge that I’d risked my life to get pregnant. Since Gleevec enabled me to live like a normal person, I focused on that, rather than fretting about what could happen. These days, though, I am worrying about myself and letting my mind go to dark places. I can’t help it. I’m a cancer patient and a mother—two identities that don’t mix very well. Doctors don’t know for sure how long Gleevec will keep me in remission. What would happen if it quit working? How could I ever leave Alex without a mommy?
These thoughts haunt me when I’m rocking Alex in his chair, giving him Eskimo kisses and humming lullabies I can’t remember the words to. I stare down at him and want to say a million things—that he is worth every ache and worry, that I promise I will never leave him—but as soon as I start talking, I cry. I just can’t get the words out. The most I can whisper is “I love you” before my tears start dripping onto his chubby little cheeks. Sometimes, they’re tears of joy; sometimes, they’re tears of fear. I’ve cried more since having Alex than I ever did in my entire life.
Of course, I don’t want Alex to think his mommy is a freak, so we do other things besides crying. We watch The Ellen DeGeneres Show, go for long walks along the Hudson River and make up silly songs; my current favorite is the one about Alex peeing in his own face, which I let him do once (rookie error). I’m trying hard to focus on how beautiful he is—and how lucky I am. Six years ago I didn’t know if I would live to see my next birthday. Next month I turn 30, and Nick and I have a healthy baby boy. Someday, I hope, I’ll be able to get the words out to tell Alex just what he means to us.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Friday, November 09, 2007
Companies handle information overload with e-mail-free Fridays
12:13 AM CST on Friday, November 9, 2007
By JENNIFER CHAMBERLAIN / The Dallas Morning News
jchamberlain@dallasnews.com
First Fridays were casual. Now, at some offices, they’re e-mail free.
Advances in workplace technology have made it easier to communicate, but they’ve also led to a backlash against information overload. The concept of a day without e-mail first emerged in England about six years ago, when confectionary company Nestle Rowntree announced a Friday e-mail ban.
Also Online
Tell us: What do you think of e-mail free Fridays?
More recently, engineers at Intel in Santa Clara, Calif., announced a "Zero Email Friday" initiative. On Intel’s IT@Intel Blog, Nathan Zeldes explains that the idea isn’t to ban electronic correspondence but rather to encourage face-to-face interaction.
Dallas-Fort Worth companies are also taking measures to get a handle on information overload, though some say a day without e-mail isn’t a practical solution.
Commercial real estate firm Cushman & Wakefield has started experimenting with e-mail-free Fridays in its Addison office. In addition to boosting productivity, the initiative has facilitated more interaction among the 100 or so employees who work on the same floor, said Brian Jensen, managing director of global communications.
"What that means for us is that any communication on that floor amongst your peers has to be done face-to-face or at least by telephone," he said. Employees are permitted to send e-mails to clients or people outside the office, or to send electronic documents if needed.
The company tries to make the initiative fun, posting signs around the office and designating "e-mail police" to enforce the rule, Mr. Jensen said. It’s been an "eye-opening" experience, he said, and reactions have been mixed, but positive overall.
"Some people are so chained to e-mail that it just really messes with their world if you attempt to throttle their e-mail," he said. "Other people are so put off by their e-mail world that they light up when you tell them about e-mail-free Friday."
For Nortel Networks, a day without e-mail isn’t practical, said Wes Durow, vice president, enterprise strategy and marketing. The Canadian company, with U.S. headquarters in Richardson, has about 33,000 employees and does business in 150 companies around the world.
"Each month there are about 34 million e-mail messages that transverse our e-mail network, and 34 million minutes of voice conversation," Mr. Durow said.
Nortel has adopted a unified communications system that ties together e-mail, voice mail, instant messaging, multimedia conferencing and other modes of communication into a centralized system. It enables an employee to see whether others on the system are available by phone, e-mail, etc., and choose the best way to interact with them, Mr. Durow said.
"Not only do you have presence, but you also have context," he said. "It’s not only about easing the burden of all these overwhelming communications, it’s about helping them interact within context and be more efficient. E-mail is not going to go away, but how we communicate is going to change radically over the next few years."
Nortel implemented its unified communications system about four years ago, and has realized about $20 million in savings since then, Mr. Durow said. Additionally, the system gives workers more flexibility. About 10 percent of Nortel’s employees work from home, and an additional 40 percent are "nomadic," Mr. Durow said.
"Time is a precious commodity in all of our lives," he said. "If I have the ability to work from home effectively, then work becomes an activity and not a place with this type of technology."
Texas Instruments Inc. is also exploring the possibility of using unified communications technology, said Laura McGee, manager of e-mail and calendaring in the information technology services department. The Dallas-based company employs 38,000 people in 100 locations worldwide.
But in the meantime, she said, banning e-mail for even one day wouldn’t work.
"We’re a very global company with manufacturing and design occurring around the world all the time," she said. "It’s kind of difficult for us to say we’ll just get up and go talk to somebody because they might be in another time zone."
Instead, the company has focused its efforts on an aggressive spam-filtering program.
"In September, we had 48.3 million messages identified as spam, and we blocked 90 percent of the incoming mail as spam," she said.
Ms. McGee’s findings are in line with the latest research. Spam made up 95 percent of all e-mails in the third quarter of 2007, according to a report by Commtouch Software, an e-mail security firm.
Ms. McGee said employees complain about meetings more than e-mails as being time wasters. Although it’s not a companywide initiative, some employee groups have meeting-free Fridays to give employees more time to work on projects.
Nevertheless, information overload is a serious issue in many offices, and it’s not going away.
"I would say it’s up near the top, right up there with bad bosses," said John Challenger, chief executive of Chicago-based outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas Inc. "It’s definitely a necessity of the modern workplace — the cat’s out of the bag now, and we’re not going back to no e-mail. It’s more that we have to figure out boundaries for when e-mail gets too intrusive." Boundary-setting encompasses a whole range of trends, such as shorter vacations and “BlackBerry addiction,” that make workers feel tethered to the office.
"t’s kind of like kudzu. It’s taken over everything, and it’s happened so quickly and totally that there’s no escape, and we haven’t caught up with it to find ways to work out those boundaries," Mr. Challenger said.
PICK YOUR E-MAIL STYLE
To tame your inbox, you first need to determine your work style, says John Challenger, chief executive of Chicago-based outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas Inc.
Push-model: If you need a constant stream of reminders to keep you on track, use technology that “pushes” information to you. Set your e-mail or BlackBerry to flash or chime when you have a new message or to remind you of tasks.
Get-model: If you find yourself overwhelmed by information, turn off those notifications and set aside specific times during the day to “get” your e-mail.
If you’re a boss: “Managers need to understand how to work with people in both camps and not try to fit everybody into the same box, and they could certainly give people training on how to manage their e-mail better,” Mr. Challenger said.
Print E-mail this article Forums
Submit a news tip Subscribe to newspaper
RSS News on your wireless
E-Mail newsletters Desktop News
Advertisement
More Latest News
UT Southwestern offers special treatment to Dallas elite
Collin County woman dies during Ironman triathlon
Some of Dallas' homeless prefer woods to shelters
Hunt family embroiled in trust lawsuit
North Fort Worth crash strikes at heart of family
More Latest News
Most Read Stories
Updated Fri 11.9.07
Collin County woman dies during Ironman triathlon
Collin County woman dies during Ironman triathlon
UT Southwestern offers special treatment to Dallas elite
Hunt family embroiled in trust lawsuit
Dallas Mavericks ward off Warriors, 120-115
Most E-mailed Stories
Aqua Dots toys recalled, linked to 'date-rape' drug
Cake this wonderful has to be from Texas, right?
Coconut cake is the glamour queen of confections
Ex-employees: Copeland ministry followers being misled
Mesquite Poteet High band brings home second state championship
More
Print E-mail this article Forums
Submit a news tip Subscribe to newspaper
Sponsored links
12:13 AM CST on Friday, November 9, 2007
By JENNIFER CHAMBERLAIN / The Dallas Morning News
jchamberlain@dallasnews.com
First Fridays were casual. Now, at some offices, they’re e-mail free.
Advances in workplace technology have made it easier to communicate, but they’ve also led to a backlash against information overload. The concept of a day without e-mail first emerged in England about six years ago, when confectionary company Nestle Rowntree announced a Friday e-mail ban.
Also Online
Tell us: What do you think of e-mail free Fridays?
More recently, engineers at Intel in Santa Clara, Calif., announced a "Zero Email Friday" initiative. On Intel’s IT@Intel Blog, Nathan Zeldes explains that the idea isn’t to ban electronic correspondence but rather to encourage face-to-face interaction.
Dallas-Fort Worth companies are also taking measures to get a handle on information overload, though some say a day without e-mail isn’t a practical solution.
Commercial real estate firm Cushman & Wakefield has started experimenting with e-mail-free Fridays in its Addison office. In addition to boosting productivity, the initiative has facilitated more interaction among the 100 or so employees who work on the same floor, said Brian Jensen, managing director of global communications.
"What that means for us is that any communication on that floor amongst your peers has to be done face-to-face or at least by telephone," he said. Employees are permitted to send e-mails to clients or people outside the office, or to send electronic documents if needed.
The company tries to make the initiative fun, posting signs around the office and designating "e-mail police" to enforce the rule, Mr. Jensen said. It’s been an "eye-opening" experience, he said, and reactions have been mixed, but positive overall.
"Some people are so chained to e-mail that it just really messes with their world if you attempt to throttle their e-mail," he said. "Other people are so put off by their e-mail world that they light up when you tell them about e-mail-free Friday."
For Nortel Networks, a day without e-mail isn’t practical, said Wes Durow, vice president, enterprise strategy and marketing. The Canadian company, with U.S. headquarters in Richardson, has about 33,000 employees and does business in 150 companies around the world.
"Each month there are about 34 million e-mail messages that transverse our e-mail network, and 34 million minutes of voice conversation," Mr. Durow said.
Nortel has adopted a unified communications system that ties together e-mail, voice mail, instant messaging, multimedia conferencing and other modes of communication into a centralized system. It enables an employee to see whether others on the system are available by phone, e-mail, etc., and choose the best way to interact with them, Mr. Durow said.
"Not only do you have presence, but you also have context," he said. "It’s not only about easing the burden of all these overwhelming communications, it’s about helping them interact within context and be more efficient. E-mail is not going to go away, but how we communicate is going to change radically over the next few years."
Nortel implemented its unified communications system about four years ago, and has realized about $20 million in savings since then, Mr. Durow said. Additionally, the system gives workers more flexibility. About 10 percent of Nortel’s employees work from home, and an additional 40 percent are "nomadic," Mr. Durow said.
"Time is a precious commodity in all of our lives," he said. "If I have the ability to work from home effectively, then work becomes an activity and not a place with this type of technology."
Texas Instruments Inc. is also exploring the possibility of using unified communications technology, said Laura McGee, manager of e-mail and calendaring in the information technology services department. The Dallas-based company employs 38,000 people in 100 locations worldwide.
But in the meantime, she said, banning e-mail for even one day wouldn’t work.
"We’re a very global company with manufacturing and design occurring around the world all the time," she said. "It’s kind of difficult for us to say we’ll just get up and go talk to somebody because they might be in another time zone."
Instead, the company has focused its efforts on an aggressive spam-filtering program.
"In September, we had 48.3 million messages identified as spam, and we blocked 90 percent of the incoming mail as spam," she said.
Ms. McGee’s findings are in line with the latest research. Spam made up 95 percent of all e-mails in the third quarter of 2007, according to a report by Commtouch Software, an e-mail security firm.
Ms. McGee said employees complain about meetings more than e-mails as being time wasters. Although it’s not a companywide initiative, some employee groups have meeting-free Fridays to give employees more time to work on projects.
Nevertheless, information overload is a serious issue in many offices, and it’s not going away.
"I would say it’s up near the top, right up there with bad bosses," said John Challenger, chief executive of Chicago-based outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas Inc. "It’s definitely a necessity of the modern workplace — the cat’s out of the bag now, and we’re not going back to no e-mail. It’s more that we have to figure out boundaries for when e-mail gets too intrusive." Boundary-setting encompasses a whole range of trends, such as shorter vacations and “BlackBerry addiction,” that make workers feel tethered to the office.
"t’s kind of like kudzu. It’s taken over everything, and it’s happened so quickly and totally that there’s no escape, and we haven’t caught up with it to find ways to work out those boundaries," Mr. Challenger said.
PICK YOUR E-MAIL STYLE
To tame your inbox, you first need to determine your work style, says John Challenger, chief executive of Chicago-based outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas Inc.
Push-model: If you need a constant stream of reminders to keep you on track, use technology that “pushes” information to you. Set your e-mail or BlackBerry to flash or chime when you have a new message or to remind you of tasks.
Get-model: If you find yourself overwhelmed by information, turn off those notifications and set aside specific times during the day to “get” your e-mail.
If you’re a boss: “Managers need to understand how to work with people in both camps and not try to fit everybody into the same box, and they could certainly give people training on how to manage their e-mail better,” Mr. Challenger said.
Print E-mail this article Forums
Submit a news tip Subscribe to newspaper
RSS News on your wireless
E-Mail newsletters Desktop News
Advertisement
More Latest News
UT Southwestern offers special treatment to Dallas elite
Collin County woman dies during Ironman triathlon
Some of Dallas' homeless prefer woods to shelters
Hunt family embroiled in trust lawsuit
North Fort Worth crash strikes at heart of family
More Latest News
Most Read Stories
Updated Fri 11.9.07
Collin County woman dies during Ironman triathlon
Collin County woman dies during Ironman triathlon
UT Southwestern offers special treatment to Dallas elite
Hunt family embroiled in trust lawsuit
Dallas Mavericks ward off Warriors, 120-115
Most E-mailed Stories
Aqua Dots toys recalled, linked to 'date-rape' drug
Cake this wonderful has to be from Texas, right?
Coconut cake is the glamour queen of confections
Ex-employees: Copeland ministry followers being misled
Mesquite Poteet High band brings home second state championship
More
Print E-mail this article Forums
Submit a news tip Subscribe to newspaper
Sponsored links
This was posted on DallasAreaMoms.com today:
> > My sad heart...
> > ________________________________
> >
> > I'm posting this really late, cause I can't sleep,
> > my heart is heavy
> > with sadness... today this adorable little Jack
> > Russell Terrier Mix came
> > up to my front door and sat on my porch. He was so
> > cute and wanting to
> > come in. Of course the kids were all over the glass
> > door wanting this
> > dog in our house. If I didn't have two other dogs
> > and a cat, I would
> > have kept him. Anyway, I put him in our backyard and
> > was going to make a
> > poster of this found dog. I called my neighbor and
> > she said, she thought
> > there was a poster for him already on our corner.
> > Sure enough, there was
> > one. So I figured that his owners didn't want him
> > anymore and I wanted
> > to get him adopted out. I called Little Elm animal
> > control and they said
> > they would get him and find him a home. Well I think
> > they lied to me. I
> > found out that the Little Elm Shelter is a KILL
> > SHELTER. While, I know
> > they do adoptions, I didn' know they kill the
> > animals they don't adopt
> > out. I thought they would find something for the
> > animals. I'm so sad
> > that now I just can't stop thinking of this little
> > dog and to make
> > matters worse I looked at all the other animals on
> > thier site and some
> > of them it says their time is running out... ugh!!!!
> > I hate to think
> > about these things.
> > I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you have room
> > in your home and
> > heart or know someone that does, please look at this
> > site and adopt a
> > dog or cat. Some of the dogs here are sooo sad
> > looking. They have a
> > Golden Retriever and some cute puppy Black Labs.
> > The dog I found is on page 2, they named him
> > Scooter. Their adoptions
> > are really cheap... only $10.00
> >
> http://www.littleelmtx.us/index.asp?Type=GALLERY&SEC={AD09007D-0885-4A9D
> > -A303-7CD16B9135C0}
> >
> > > A9D-A303-7CD16B9135C0%7d>
> > Scroll down on the left side to see the tab for
> > Little Elm Dogs and Cats
> > to see the photos and their stories...
> >
> > Please help if you can!!
> >
> > My sad heart...
> > ________________________________
> >
> > I'm posting this really late, cause I can't sleep,
> > my heart is heavy
> > with sadness... today this adorable little Jack
> > Russell Terrier Mix came
> > up to my front door and sat on my porch. He was so
> > cute and wanting to
> > come in. Of course the kids were all over the glass
> > door wanting this
> > dog in our house. If I didn't have two other dogs
> > and a cat, I would
> > have kept him. Anyway, I put him in our backyard and
> > was going to make a
> > poster of this found dog. I called my neighbor and
> > she said, she thought
> > there was a poster for him already on our corner.
> > Sure enough, there was
> > one. So I figured that his owners didn't want him
> > anymore and I wanted
> > to get him adopted out. I called Little Elm animal
> > control and they said
> > they would get him and find him a home. Well I think
> > they lied to me. I
> > found out that the Little Elm Shelter is a KILL
> > SHELTER. While, I know
> > they do adoptions, I didn' know they kill the
> > animals they don't adopt
> > out. I thought they would find something for the
> > animals. I'm so sad
> > that now I just can't stop thinking of this little
> > dog and to make
> > matters worse I looked at all the other animals on
> > thier site and some
> > of them it says their time is running out... ugh!!!!
> > I hate to think
> > about these things.
> > I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you have room
> > in your home and
> > heart or know someone that does, please look at this
> > site and adopt a
> > dog or cat. Some of the dogs here are sooo sad
> > looking. They have a
> > Golden Retriever and some cute puppy Black Labs.
> > The dog I found is on page 2, they named him
> > Scooter. Their adoptions
> > are really cheap... only $10.00
> >
> http://www.littleelmtx.us/index.asp?Type=GALLERY&SEC={AD09007D-0885-4A9D
> > -A303-7CD16B9135C0}
> >
>
> > Scroll down on the left side to see the tab for
> > Little Elm Dogs and Cats
> > to see the photos and their stories...
> >
> > Please help if you can!!
> >
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007 (SF Chronicle)
Medicare drug plans are changing - and costing more
Victoria Colliver, Chronicle Staff Writer
Medicare beneficiaries who fail to examine next year's changes to
their
prescription drug plans may find the price of their pills tougher to
swallow come Jan. 1.
Enrollment begins Nov. 15 for the new crop of drug plans, and health
advocates warn that people are likely to see increases in their monthly
premiums - and no guarantees that drugs covered under their plan this
year
will be covered in 2008. Among the changes:
-- Monthly premiums for drug plans paired with traditional Medicare
will
increase in California by an average of 24 percent.
-- Nationwide, about 75 percent of enrollees in drug plans face
premium
hikes if they stay in the same plan next year.
-- Millions of low-income and disabled people covered by both
Medicare and
Medicaid - about 500,000 of whom live in California - automatically
will
be switched to new plans that may or may not cover their drugs.
"It may feel like the same old thing and not worth changing. But, in
fact,
plans are changing, and consumers may find themselves better off making
a
switch," said Tricia Neuman, vice president of the Kaiser Family
Foundation.
Since the federal government added prescription drug coverage to its
Medicare benefits in 2006, about 24 million of America's 43 million
seniors have taken advantage of the new option. The program, known as
Medicare Part D, is administered by private companies that are approved
by
the federal government to sell drug plans.
Medicare is available to people 65 and older and those who qualify
because
of disability or income level.
There are two main ways to get drug coverage under Medicare. One is
to be
covered by traditional Medicare and buy a separate Part D drug plan for
an
additional monthly fee. But a growing number of plans combine health
and
prescription coverage under one roof, which means medical and drug
services are handled by a private company.
Under this free-market approach, more than 1,800 plans are available
nationwide. In California, seniors have their choice of 56 stand-alone
plans, all of which are available statewide.
An additional 180 Medicare health plans, which can come in the form
of a
health maintenance organization, or HMO, are sold throughout the state,
but where those plans are offered varies by county. In addition, there
are
newer forms of Medicare benefits known as private fee-for-service
plans,
some of which have come under fire from consumer groups and the federal
government for marketing abuses.
This dizzying array of options offers beneficiaries both choice and
confusion. But Medicare officials say more choice means competition.
"There are a lot of choices because the market is robust," said Jeff
Nelligan, spokesman for the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services.
"Why go into a supermarket and only confine yourself to the first two
aisles? More choices mean more value."
According to Medicare officials, the average monthly premium for
Part D
coverage in 2008 will be $25, up from $22 this year.
This is far lower than the $41 monthly premium predicted by the
federal
government at the beginning of the program. But consumer and health
advocates say the numbers are misleading because they include both the
stand-alone plans and the Medicare health plans, also known as Medicare
Advantage, which are more highly subsidized by the government and are
eligible for rebates not available to standard Part D plans. Some
Medicare
Advantage plans have no premiums.
Californians who stay in the same stand-alone prescription drug plan
will
experience an average 31 percent premium increase next year, said Chris
Perrone, senior program officer for the California HealthCare
Foundation.
Advocates found the average cost of a stand-alone plan in California
for
2008 will increase by 24 percent.
The cheapest plan available this year in California will go up 96
percent.
People who choose that plan, WellCare's Classic plan at $9.70, will
find
themselves paying $19 a month if they stay the course in 2008. Next
year,
First Health Part D Secure offers the state's lowest cost plan at
$14.30 a
month.
"Every single beneficiary is exposed to instability and
unpredictability,"
said Kevin Prindiville, an attorney with the National Senior Citizens
Law
Center in Oakland. "Everyone should be looking at their plan changes
and
making sure the plan they enrolled in is really the best plan for
them."
Prindiville's group is most concerned with the 1.2 million poor and
disabled Californians who are covered by both Medicare and Medicaid, a
joint state and federal program for the indigent known here as
Medi-Cal.
About 600,000 of these dually eligible residents are enrolled in
plans
that didn't have a monthly premium in 2007, but now cost too much to be
offered to these recipients in 2008.
The bulk of these beneficiaries automatically will be switched to
new
plans, but those who are not will face higher premiums. Prindiville
said
there's no guarantee that their new plans will cover the drugs needed
by
this vulnerable population, which tends to be the sickest and poorest
in
the state.
Health advocates also are concerned about the low number of plans
offering
brand-name as opposed to just generic drug coverage through the
infamous
"doughnut hole," a coverage gap built into the program to reduce the
cost
of the benefit.
If consumers hit the hole, they are responsible for 100 percent of
their
drug costs until - or unless - they spend themselves out of the hole.
Next
year, plans pay 75 percent of drug costs until a beneficiary's total
drug
tab hits $2,510. After that point, seniors must pay all drug costs
until
their out-of-pocket spending hits $4,050 and comprehensive coverage
resumes.
Despite their differences, both advocates and Medicare officials
agree
that consumers need to be aware of the changing Medicare marketplace.
"Every year, we talk about having your annual checkup for your
health.
Every year, through this open enrollment period, you should have an
annual
prescription drug checkup," said Dr. Charlotte Yeh, acting director of
Medicare's San Francisco regional office.
You'd better shop around
Open enrollment to choose a new Medicare prescription drug benefit
is Nov.
15-Dec. 31. Those who want to switch plans should do so by early
December
to ensure their benefits start smoothly Jan. 1. Many senior centers
offer
counseling services. Other resources:
-- Medicare.gov offers the most comprehensive online tools to help
consumers pick a plan. The same information will be available at (800)
633-4227.
-- The Health Insurance Counseling and Advocacy Program offers free
individual counseling. Call (800) 434-0222 to be directed to HICAP in
your
county, or go to calmedicare.org.
-- The Medicare Rights Center provides Medicare Part D information
at
medicarerights.org.
-- Benefitscheckup.org is maintained by the National Council on
Aging and
supported by major drugstores, insurers and pharmaceutical companies.
-- AARP does not offer individual counseling but does help with
general
information about Part D. Visit aarp.org or call (888) 687-2277.
Source:
Chronicle research
E-mail Victoria Colliver at vcolliver@sfchronicle.com.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2007 SF Chronicle
Medicare drug plans are changing - and costing more
Victoria Colliver, Chronicle Staff Writer
Medicare beneficiaries who fail to examine next year's changes to
their
prescription drug plans may find the price of their pills tougher to
swallow come Jan. 1.
Enrollment begins Nov. 15 for the new crop of drug plans, and health
advocates warn that people are likely to see increases in their monthly
premiums - and no guarantees that drugs covered under their plan this
year
will be covered in 2008. Among the changes:
-- Monthly premiums for drug plans paired with traditional Medicare
will
increase in California by an average of 24 percent.
-- Nationwide, about 75 percent of enrollees in drug plans face
premium
hikes if they stay in the same plan next year.
-- Millions of low-income and disabled people covered by both
Medicare and
Medicaid - about 500,000 of whom live in California - automatically
will
be switched to new plans that may or may not cover their drugs.
"It may feel like the same old thing and not worth changing. But, in
fact,
plans are changing, and consumers may find themselves better off making
a
switch," said Tricia Neuman, vice president of the Kaiser Family
Foundation.
Since the federal government added prescription drug coverage to its
Medicare benefits in 2006, about 24 million of America's 43 million
seniors have taken advantage of the new option. The program, known as
Medicare Part D, is administered by private companies that are approved
by
the federal government to sell drug plans.
Medicare is available to people 65 and older and those who qualify
because
of disability or income level.
There are two main ways to get drug coverage under Medicare. One is
to be
covered by traditional Medicare and buy a separate Part D drug plan for
an
additional monthly fee. But a growing number of plans combine health
and
prescription coverage under one roof, which means medical and drug
services are handled by a private company.
Under this free-market approach, more than 1,800 plans are available
nationwide. In California, seniors have their choice of 56 stand-alone
plans, all of which are available statewide.
An additional 180 Medicare health plans, which can come in the form
of a
health maintenance organization, or HMO, are sold throughout the state,
but where those plans are offered varies by county. In addition, there
are
newer forms of Medicare benefits known as private fee-for-service
plans,
some of which have come under fire from consumer groups and the federal
government for marketing abuses.
This dizzying array of options offers beneficiaries both choice and
confusion. But Medicare officials say more choice means competition.
"There are a lot of choices because the market is robust," said Jeff
Nelligan, spokesman for the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services.
"Why go into a supermarket and only confine yourself to the first two
aisles? More choices mean more value."
According to Medicare officials, the average monthly premium for
Part D
coverage in 2008 will be $25, up from $22 this year.
This is far lower than the $41 monthly premium predicted by the
federal
government at the beginning of the program. But consumer and health
advocates say the numbers are misleading because they include both the
stand-alone plans and the Medicare health plans, also known as Medicare
Advantage, which are more highly subsidized by the government and are
eligible for rebates not available to standard Part D plans. Some
Medicare
Advantage plans have no premiums.
Californians who stay in the same stand-alone prescription drug plan
will
experience an average 31 percent premium increase next year, said Chris
Perrone, senior program officer for the California HealthCare
Foundation.
Advocates found the average cost of a stand-alone plan in California
for
2008 will increase by 24 percent.
The cheapest plan available this year in California will go up 96
percent.
People who choose that plan, WellCare's Classic plan at $9.70, will
find
themselves paying $19 a month if they stay the course in 2008. Next
year,
First Health Part D Secure offers the state's lowest cost plan at
$14.30 a
month.
"Every single beneficiary is exposed to instability and
unpredictability,"
said Kevin Prindiville, an attorney with the National Senior Citizens
Law
Center in Oakland. "Everyone should be looking at their plan changes
and
making sure the plan they enrolled in is really the best plan for
them."
Prindiville's group is most concerned with the 1.2 million poor and
disabled Californians who are covered by both Medicare and Medicaid, a
joint state and federal program for the indigent known here as
Medi-Cal.
About 600,000 of these dually eligible residents are enrolled in
plans
that didn't have a monthly premium in 2007, but now cost too much to be
offered to these recipients in 2008.
The bulk of these beneficiaries automatically will be switched to
new
plans, but those who are not will face higher premiums. Prindiville
said
there's no guarantee that their new plans will cover the drugs needed
by
this vulnerable population, which tends to be the sickest and poorest
in
the state.
Health advocates also are concerned about the low number of plans
offering
brand-name as opposed to just generic drug coverage through the
infamous
"doughnut hole," a coverage gap built into the program to reduce the
cost
of the benefit.
If consumers hit the hole, they are responsible for 100 percent of
their
drug costs until - or unless - they spend themselves out of the hole.
Next
year, plans pay 75 percent of drug costs until a beneficiary's total
drug
tab hits $2,510. After that point, seniors must pay all drug costs
until
their out-of-pocket spending hits $4,050 and comprehensive coverage
resumes.
Despite their differences, both advocates and Medicare officials
agree
that consumers need to be aware of the changing Medicare marketplace.
"Every year, we talk about having your annual checkup for your
health.
Every year, through this open enrollment period, you should have an
annual
prescription drug checkup," said Dr. Charlotte Yeh, acting director of
Medicare's San Francisco regional office.
You'd better shop around
Open enrollment to choose a new Medicare prescription drug benefit
is Nov.
15-Dec. 31. Those who want to switch plans should do so by early
December
to ensure their benefits start smoothly Jan. 1. Many senior centers
offer
counseling services. Other resources:
-- Medicare.gov offers the most comprehensive online tools to help
consumers pick a plan. The same information will be available at (800)
633-4227.
-- The Health Insurance Counseling and Advocacy Program offers free
individual counseling. Call (800) 434-0222 to be directed to HICAP in
your
county, or go to calmedicare.org.
-- The Medicare Rights Center provides Medicare Part D information
at
medicarerights.org.
-- Benefitscheckup.org is maintained by the National Council on
Aging and
supported by major drugstores, insurers and pharmaceutical companies.
-- AARP does not offer individual counseling but does help with
general
information about Part D. Visit aarp.org or call (888) 687-2277.
Source:
Chronicle research
E-mail Victoria Colliver at vcolliver@sfchronicle.com.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2007 SF Chronicle
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Subject: Catster Wishes Marbles a Happy Birthday
Dear Marbles,
Meow meow!
We want to wish you a very Happy Birthday full of love and joy and purring. We are thrilled to be able to celebrate it with you!
Marbles will be profiled today with other birthday kitties on Catster's special Birthday Stroll.
Since it's your birthday we want to give you something special, so we have given you 25 Catster treats and one vote of 5 Paws! Catster loves you!
Sincerely,
Your Friends at Catster
Dear Marbles,
Meow meow!
We want to wish you a very Happy Birthday full of love and joy and purring. We are thrilled to be able to celebrate it with you!
Marbles will be profiled today with other birthday kitties on Catster's special Birthday Stroll.
Since it's your birthday we want to give you something special, so we have given you 25 Catster treats and one vote of 5 Paws! Catster loves you!
Sincerely,
Your Friends at Catster
Monday, October 29, 2007
A cabbie picks up a Nun.
She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies, “I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a Nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me.”
She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that: #1 you have to be single, and #2 you must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”
“Ok” the Nun says. “Pull into the next alley”
The Nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child,” says the Nun, “why are you crying?”
“Forgive me but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The Nun says, “That’s okay. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies, “I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a Nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me.”
She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that: #1 you have to be single, and #2 you must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”
“Ok” the Nun says. “Pull into the next alley”
The Nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child,” says the Nun, “why are you crying?”
“Forgive me but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The Nun says, “That’s okay. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
Scammers
step_bowler@yahoo.com
Username: bowler00Email: step_bowler@yahoo.comSignup
IP: 216.118.251.22male 52 years old San deigo United
States, Alabama (no picture) Scam message mass-mailed:
Hello, What a wonderful and fascinating profile you
had, so i'm sending you an email and show my
interest.Have been on this for less than 1week now and
i'm in search of my Soul & Dream Mate,Lover,Wife and
Life Companion,let me give you a brief introduction of
me.My name is Stephen Bowler,But my mom was a british
born.I'm an Electrical enginner with a Master Degree,
I have a good sense of humour...I live in san diego
Ca.I'm a widower been widowed for 6yrs now.I have just
only 1 lovely Daughter left her name is Lisa .After
the sudden and devasting death of my wife Who was a
wondeful,sweet and caring wife and mother.She was also
a teacher and she died by a Car Accident on her way
back from church.Have been single for the past 6
years, am a man with a strong heart,loving, caring,
honest, compassionate,affectionate, i also believe in
God.I like swining, camping,fishing,reading &
writting,tennis,American
Football,Basketball,Baseball,g olfing,swim ming
etc.When i read through your profile i was really
amazed and motivated to send you an email and show my
interest..I would want us to continue this
conversation further through my email which is
step_bowler@yahoo.com and if you use a Yahoo Messenger
my IM is step_bowler"Hope to hear from you very
soon.Have a Nice day. Stephen Bowler
--- Steven Bowler
step_bowler@yahoo.com
Username: bowler00Email: step_bowler@yahoo.comSignup
IP: 216.118.251.22male 52 years old San deigo United
States, Alabama (no picture) Scam message mass-mailed:
Hello, What a wonderful and fascinating profile you
had, so i'm sending you an email and show my
interest.Have been on this for less than 1week now and
i'm in search of my Soul & Dream Mate,Lover,Wife and
Life Companion,let me give you a brief introduction of
me.My name is Stephen Bowler,But my mom was a british
born.I'm an Electrical enginner with a Master Degree,
I have a good sense of humour...I live in san diego
Ca.I'm a widower been widowed for 6yrs now.I have just
only 1 lovely Daughter left her name is Lisa .After
the sudden and devasting death of my wife Who was a
wondeful,sweet and caring wife and mother.She was also
a teacher and she died by a Car Accident on her way
back from church.Have been single for the past 6
years, am a man with a strong heart,loving, caring,
honest, compassionate,affectionate, i also believe in
God.I like swining, camping,fishing,reading &
writting,tennis,American
Football,Basketball,Baseball,g olfing,swim ming
etc.When i read through your profile i was really
amazed and motivated to send you an email and show my
interest..I would want us to continue this
conversation further through my email which is
step_bowler@yahoo.com and if you use a Yahoo Messenger
my IM is step_bowler"Hope to hear from you very
soon.Have a Nice day. Stephen Bowler
--- Steven Bowler
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Subject: Blonde's Review of the Year
>
> Subject: a blondes year in review....
> January
> Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
>
> February
> Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
> Helllloooo!! !.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
>
> March
> Got really excited..... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....
> Box said "2-4 years!"
>
> April
> Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!
>
> May
> Tried to make Kool-Aid.... .wrong instructions. ...8 cups of
> Water won't fit into those little packets!!!
>
> June
> Tried to go water skiing...... .couldn't find a lake with a slope.
>
> July
> Lost breast stroke swimming competition. ....learned later,
> The other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
>
> August
> Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....
> Car swamped because soft-top was open.
>
> September
> The capital of California is "C".....isn' t it???
>
> October
> Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to p eel.
>
> November
> Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour
> Per pound and I weigh 108!!
>
> December
> Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh".....there' s no "eleven"
> Button on the stupid phone!!!
>
>
>
> Subject: a blondes year in review....
> January
> Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
>
> February
> Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
> Helllloooo!! !.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
>
> March
> Got really excited..... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....
> Box said "2-4 years!"
>
> April
> Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!
>
> May
> Tried to make Kool-Aid.... .wrong instructions. ...8 cups of
> Water won't fit into those little packets!!!
>
> June
> Tried to go water skiing...... .couldn't find a lake with a slope.
>
> July
> Lost breast stroke swimming competition. ....learned later,
> The other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
>
> August
> Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....
> Car swamped because soft-top was open.
>
> September
> The capital of California is "C".....isn' t it???
>
> October
> Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to p eel.
>
> November
> Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour
> Per pound and I weigh 108!!
>
> December
> Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh".....there' s no "eleven"
> Button on the stupid phone!!!
>
>
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Hey Terri,
I just purchased the book and started reading it – it is wonderful! Thank you for sharing your story – this is a book that will impact people in ways you may never know.....what a great feeling to know you have done something so positive...
Thank you,
Kristine
Kristine French, BSW
Birthparent Intake Counselor
Independent Adoption Center
3774 Lavista Road, Suite 100
Tucker, GA 30084
(office) 404-321-6900
(toll-free) 800-877-6736
(fax) 404-321-6600
kfrench@adoptionhelp.org
I just purchased the book and started reading it – it is wonderful! Thank you for sharing your story – this is a book that will impact people in ways you may never know.....what a great feeling to know you have done something so positive...
Thank you,
Kristine
Kristine French, BSW
Birthparent Intake Counselor
Independent Adoption Center
3774 Lavista Road, Suite 100
Tucker, GA 30084
(office) 404-321-6900
(toll-free) 800-877-6736
(fax) 404-321-6600
kfrench@adoptionhelp.org
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Sunday, September 30, 2007
seagull in Scotland has developed the habit of stealing chips from a neighborhood shop.
The seagull waits until the shopkeeper isn’t looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos.
Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.
The seagull’s shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Aberdeen, Scotland, and helped himself to a bag of chips. Since then, he’s become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips.
Customers have begun paying for the seagull’s stolen bags of chips because they think it’s so funny.
The seagull waits until the shopkeeper isn’t looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos.
Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.
The seagull’s shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Aberdeen, Scotland, and helped himself to a bag of chips. Since then, he’s become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips.
Customers have begun paying for the seagull’s stolen bags of chips because they think it’s so funny.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Hello Friends,
Did you know that there is an area-wide clean-up of the TRINITY RIVER going on this Saturday, the 15th??
There's lots of room for more, if any of you have some time to spare. I could use the help and the river could use it, too.
We'll be working in the White Settlement area.
It's 8:30 am - 11:30 am ,
with a free lunch at Rockwood Park afterward, and a free T-SHirt (wooohoo!)
P.S. Bring the kids.
Did you know that there is an area-wide clean-up of the TRINITY RIVER going on this Saturday, the 15th??
There's lots of room for more, if any of you have some time to spare. I could use the help and the river could use it, too.
We'll be working in the White Settlement area.
It's 8:30 am - 11:30 am ,
with a free lunch at Rockwood Park afterward, and a free T-SHirt (wooohoo!)
P.S. Bring the kids.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Found out about this Fort Worth program yesterday called CAP that helps with electric bills. It stands for Community Action Partners and if you furnish a copy of the current utility bill, i.d., and proof of income by appt. only they will review the case. It's part of the Fort Worth Parks and Community Services Dept.
The phone number is 817-392-1650.
There is also a Cowboy Santas Holiday Program that you call on Sept. 4th to sign up. That number is 817-871-6605.
The phone number is 817-392-1650.
There is also a Cowboy Santas Holiday Program that you call on Sept. 4th to sign up. That number is 817-871-6605.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Terri~
What a gift of love you have given McKenna, as a really doting Mema of Aidan, I truly realize the profound gift... words cannot describe. I am thankful for you for the opportunity you have of sharing her life. It really does give you both, & her mom, such a blessing.
Shelley had planned an open adoption, but after a fiasco where the girl changed her mind (evidently had been with a couple of guys & ended up finding out the baby was the white guy's, which I think was her plan all along, to keep it)... well, to say the least it was an awful, emotional experience, the girl even used their name, so they truly felt like they had miscarried... couldn't even use that name. Made me really sad, as it was my mother's maiden name, Garrett, & Christopher, which was my grandfather's name. So she ended up going the opposite.
At any rate, I am so very thankful for the decision Aidan's birthmom made, & we are determined our baby will have the best life we can provide... not the most affluent, but rich in love & experiences shared. We (I was there when the call came!) got the call about Aidan 12 days after his birth Aug. 19, '03 (just celebrated his 4th!), so it was Aug. 29... she picked him up Aug. 31st! Life has NEVER been the same! Shelley & I both discuss how much that selfless decision made by birthmothers like you means, & I want you to know this... to hear this from my heart.
Virginia
What a gift of love you have given McKenna, as a really doting Mema of Aidan, I truly realize the profound gift... words cannot describe. I am thankful for you for the opportunity you have of sharing her life. It really does give you both, & her mom, such a blessing.
Shelley had planned an open adoption, but after a fiasco where the girl changed her mind (evidently had been with a couple of guys & ended up finding out the baby was the white guy's, which I think was her plan all along, to keep it)... well, to say the least it was an awful, emotional experience, the girl even used their name, so they truly felt like they had miscarried... couldn't even use that name. Made me really sad, as it was my mother's maiden name, Garrett, & Christopher, which was my grandfather's name. So she ended up going the opposite.
At any rate, I am so very thankful for the decision Aidan's birthmom made, & we are determined our baby will have the best life we can provide... not the most affluent, but rich in love & experiences shared. We (I was there when the call came!) got the call about Aidan 12 days after his birth Aug. 19, '03 (just celebrated his 4th!), so it was Aug. 29... she picked him up Aug. 31st! Life has NEVER been the same! Shelley & I both discuss how much that selfless decision made by birthmothers like you means, & I want you to know this... to hear this from my heart.
Virginia
Friday, August 24, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Date: 22 Aug 2007 05:09:58 -0700
The Irishman's Wish
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says, "I want two more of these."
Payin' The Bills
People who love a good laugh, You Rule.
Have you heard the one about long-term cell contracts?
Virgin Mobile presents: plans without annual contracts.
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
The Irishman's Wish
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says, "I want two more of these."
Payin' The Bills
People who love a good laugh, You Rule.
Have you heard the one about long-term cell contracts?
Virgin Mobile presents: plans without annual contracts.
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Monday, August 20, 2007
Date: 19 Aug 2007 05:09:28 -0700
Surprise Package
A man was drinking in a bar when he noticed this beautiful young lady sitting next to him. "Hello there," says the man, "and what is your name?"
"Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm Stacey. What's yours?"
"I'm Jim."
"Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight? I mean, right now??"
"Sure!" replies Jim, "Let's go!"
So Stacey takes Jim to her house and takes him to her room. Jim sits down on the bed and notices a picture of a man on Stacey's desk. "Stacey, I noticed the picture of a man on your desk," Jim says.
"Yes? And what about it?" asks Stacey.
"Is it your brother?"
"No, it isn't, Jim!" Stacey giggles. Jim's eyes widen, suspecting that it might be Stacey's husband.
When he finally asks, "Is it your husband?"
Stacey giggles even more, "No, silly!" Jim was relieved.
"Then, it must be your boyfriend!"
Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim's ear. She says, "No, silly!!"
"Then, who is it?" Jim asks.
Stacey replies, "That's me BEFORE my operation!!"
Payin' The Bills
A pose is worth a thousand pictures. Pictures of a pose are
potentially worth a trip Vegas with 5 of your friends.
Submit yours and Captain Morgan may just make your day.
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Surprise Package
A man was drinking in a bar when he noticed this beautiful young lady sitting next to him. "Hello there," says the man, "and what is your name?"
"Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm Stacey. What's yours?"
"I'm Jim."
"Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight? I mean, right now??"
"Sure!" replies Jim, "Let's go!"
So Stacey takes Jim to her house and takes him to her room. Jim sits down on the bed and notices a picture of a man on Stacey's desk. "Stacey, I noticed the picture of a man on your desk," Jim says.
"Yes? And what about it?" asks Stacey.
"Is it your brother?"
"No, it isn't, Jim!" Stacey giggles. Jim's eyes widen, suspecting that it might be Stacey's husband.
When he finally asks, "Is it your husband?"
Stacey giggles even more, "No, silly!" Jim was relieved.
"Then, it must be your boyfriend!"
Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim's ear. She says, "No, silly!!"
"Then, who is it?" Jim asks.
Stacey replies, "That's me BEFORE my operation!!"
Payin' The Bills
A pose is worth a thousand pictures. Pictures of a pose are
potentially worth a trip Vegas with 5 of your friends.
Submit yours and Captain Morgan may just make your day.
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Saturday, August 18, 2007
The Invisible Woman
I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something
to my family - like 'Turn the TV down, please' - and nothing would
happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I
would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little
louder, 'Would someone turn the TV down?' Nothing.
Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been
there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was
talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a
break in the conversation, I whispered, 'I'm ready to go when you are.'
He just kept right on talking. That's when I started to put all the
pieces together. I don't think he can see me. I don't think anyone can
see me.
I'm invisible.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the
way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and
ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm
on
the phone?' Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or
cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the
corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this?
Can
you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands;
I'm
not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a
satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a
car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' I was certain that these
were
the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and
the
mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into
the peanut butter, never to be seen again.
She's going she's going she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of
a
friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip,
and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was
sitting
there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was
hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my
out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean.
My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I
could
actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when
Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I
brought you this.'
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly
sure
why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte,
with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one
sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would
discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after
which I could pattern my work:
* No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no
record of their names.
* These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would
never see finished.
* They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
* The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that
the
eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the
cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny
bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why
are
you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be
covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied,
'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was
almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see
the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No
act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake
you've
baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a
great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a
disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my
own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As
one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see
finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The
writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever
be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to
sacrifice to that degree.
As mothers and teachers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be
seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the
world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty
that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible
women...
We are separated from our Creator if we allow our actions to separate
us
from each another.
I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something
to my family - like 'Turn the TV down, please' - and nothing would
happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I
would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little
louder, 'Would someone turn the TV down?' Nothing.
Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been
there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was
talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a
break in the conversation, I whispered, 'I'm ready to go when you are.'
He just kept right on talking. That's when I started to put all the
pieces together. I don't think he can see me. I don't think anyone can
see me.
I'm invisible.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the
way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and
ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm
on
the phone?' Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or
cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the
corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this?
Can
you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands;
I'm
not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a
satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a
car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' I was certain that these
were
the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and
the
mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into
the peanut butter, never to be seen again.
She's going she's going she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of
a
friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip,
and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was
sitting
there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was
hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my
out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean.
My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I
could
actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when
Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I
brought you this.'
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly
sure
why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte,
with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one
sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would
discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after
which I could pattern my work:
* No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no
record of their names.
* These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would
never see finished.
* They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
* The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that
the
eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the
cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny
bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why
are
you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be
covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied,
'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was
almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see
the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No
act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake
you've
baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a
great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a
disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my
own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As
one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see
finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The
writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever
be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to
sacrifice to that degree.
As mothers and teachers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be
seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the
world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty
that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible
women...
We are separated from our Creator if we allow our actions to separate
us
from each another.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 16 Aug 2007 05:11:16 -0700
The Man With No Voice
One night, a man with no voice and his friend went to a bar. The men at the bar wanted to know what he would like in a woman. He pointed to his head. His friend explained that he wanted a smart woman. Then, he rubbed his thumb on the palm of his hand. His friend explained that he wanted a woman with money. Then, he opened his hands wide, bent his fingers, and made them cupped. He bounced them under his chest. His friend looked at him kinda wierd.
"What the heck do you want a woman with arthritis for?"
Payin' The Bills
A pose is worth a thousand pictures. Pictures of a pose are
potentially worth a trip Vegas with 5 of your friends.
Submit yours and Captain Morgan may just make your day.
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Date: 16 Aug 2007 05:11:16 -0700
The Man With No Voice
One night, a man with no voice and his friend went to a bar. The men at the bar wanted to know what he would like in a woman. He pointed to his head. His friend explained that he wanted a smart woman. Then, he rubbed his thumb on the palm of his hand. His friend explained that he wanted a woman with money. Then, he opened his hands wide, bent his fingers, and made them cupped. He bounced them under his chest. His friend looked at him kinda wierd.
"What the heck do you want a woman with arthritis for?"
Payin' The Bills
A pose is worth a thousand pictures. Pictures of a pose are
potentially worth a trip Vegas with 5 of your friends.
Submit yours and Captain Morgan may just make your day.
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Monday, August 13, 2007
Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 13 Aug 2007 05:09:32 -0700
Gettin' Drunk
One day this guy was sitting at this bar in Chicago and looks over and sees this guy that looks exactly like him. He says to the guy, "Hey you look just like me!"
The other man agrees and asks, "Where are you from?"
The first guy answers, "Chicago."
"Me too!" says the second guy, "What street do you live on?"
"Forty-Ninth Street," answers the first guy.
"Me too!" says the second guy, becoming increasingly excited. "What's your address?"
''951."
"Me too! Wow, this is incredible! What are your parents' names?"
"John and Cathy," says the first guy.
"Me too!" shouts the second guy. "I wonder if we're related!?"
Meanwhile, the bartenders are changing shifts and the guy coming on asks if anything is new.
"No," says the first bartender, "just the Smith twins, drunk again."
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2007 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Date: 13 Aug 2007 05:09:32 -0700
Gettin' Drunk
One day this guy was sitting at this bar in Chicago and looks over and sees this guy that looks exactly like him. He says to the guy, "Hey you look just like me!"
The other man agrees and asks, "Where are you from?"
The first guy answers, "Chicago."
"Me too!" says the second guy, "What street do you live on?"
"Forty-Ninth Street," answers the first guy.
"Me too!" says the second guy, becoming increasingly excited. "What's your address?"
''951."
"Me too! Wow, this is incredible! What are your parents' names?"
"John and Cathy," says the first guy.
"Me too!" shouts the second guy. "I wonder if we're related!?"
Meanwhile, the bartenders are changing shifts and the guy coming on asks if anything is new.
"No," says the first bartender, "just the Smith twins, drunk again."
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2007 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 31 Jul 2007 05:09:26 -0700
The Scottie Dog Who Knew Karate
There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.
So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, "I need a good guard dog."
And the clerk replied, "Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate."
The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair."
The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, "Karate that table." The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.
So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said "Karate my ass!"
Payin' The Bills
Superbad
In Theaters August 17th
Come Get Some
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2007 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Date: 31 Jul 2007 05:09:26 -0700
The Scottie Dog Who Knew Karate
There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.
So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, "I need a good guard dog."
And the clerk replied, "Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate."
The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair."
The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, "Karate that table." The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.
So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said "Karate my ass!"
Payin' The Bills
Superbad
In Theaters August 17th
Come Get Some
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2007 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Lending a Flipper
Dolphins make a splash with a mystifying health modality.
By Jessica Ridenour
There are many mysteries in our universe that remain unsolved: the downfall of the dinosaurs, life on other planets and how a single sock can disappear in the dryer. Why Dolphin Assisted Therapy (DAT) is beneficial for treating a host of disorders—including autism, physical and mental disabilities, post-traumatic stress, spine and brain injuries, anxiety and depression—might be another one of those unsolved enigmas, but that doesn’t make it any less relevant for the true believers who deem that these friendly, super-smart mammals have the power to ease what ails you.
Humans’ fascination with dolphins’ intellect and innocent playfulness dates back to the time of Aristotle, who was the first scientist to study cetaceans (dolphins, whales and porpoises). In the 1950s, Dr. John Lilly (who also invented the floatation tanks discussed in June ET’s Holistic Healing) studied communication between humans and dolphins. In the 60s, the US Navy launched its Marine Mammal Program, in which dolphins were trained to locate mines, perform underwater surveillance (thanks to fin-mounted cameras), bring equipment to divers and more. Cetaceans’ potential impact on human well-being entered the picture in the 70s, when Dr. Betsy Smith first introduced the idea of dolphin therapy. Today, the dolphin allure endures, with DAT centers located around the world.
One such center is Island Dolphin Care (www.islanddolphincare.org) in Key Largo, Florida. This nonprofit group offers intensive dolphin therapy sessions for special-needs kids, including those with life-threatening conditions and long-term, chronic physical, mental or emotional disabilities. Accompanied by a therapist, children at the center can interact with dolphins from a platform or enter the water for one-on-one play sessions with the helpful creatures. Often used in conjunction with human-assisted therapy, dolphin swims can help children who may struggle in everyday life to suddenly feel empowered, confident and free.
“It’s a recreational, motivational and educational experience,” says program manager Pete Hoagland. “We see some kids have major breakthroughs. I would say at the very least the kids have a remarkable experience and I would say in most cases the kids in the programs move in one way or another towards a positive outcome, whatever their challenge might’ve been.” Hoagland, whose wife Deena is a therapist and executive director of the organization, compares the program to other animal therapy modalities, such as equestrian therapy, but notes that floating in the water with a dolphin is likely easier for a severely impaired child than riding a horse.
The Hoaglands were no strangers to the benefits of DAT even before founding IDC. After their son, Joe, was born with a heart defect and was left paralyzed on his left side by a stroke at age three, his parents took him to swim with the dolphins as often as possible. He is now a college-age adult with few remaining symptoms of his stroke.
“We’ve seen some remarkable things here, using the excitement and motivation of the dolphins, which is a powerful tool,” says Pete, “and we do see kids say their first words or take their first steps, or change the behavior that was not productive.” But he’s quick to add that there is no “miracle” to be found here. “We absolutely do not suggest that dolphins can cure or heal,” he says. “There’s no hard science or research that would allow us to promote it, and so we don’t; but animals and kids in general have something of a natural connection.”
The Dolphin is IN
Children aren’t the only ones who benefit from dolphins. Florida-based nurse and bodywork practitioner Corinna Soumerai has been swimming with dolphins, both in the wild and in captivity, for over 25 years. For her, it’s more of a spiritual, personal encounter. “When I had my first experience with a dolphin, I wept,” she reveals. “The connection I had by looking into the dolphin’s eyes was so deep for me; I felt a sense of love, a sense of being home...like I was with an enlightened entity.” Visiting with a psychotherapist was unfulfilling for Soumerai; instead, she would swim with dolphins, returning from each swim with a permanent smile on her face, profound emotional healing and deep sleep afterward. “I liked the results I got with a bigger being or a bigger force of nature,” she says. “I think that the cetaceans are here to remind us that we were once connected and are still connected to nature.”
While the jury is still officially out as to why DAT is such a powerfully effective therapy for some patients, theories abound. One such hypothesis is based on dolphins’ use of sonar and what is called echolocation. Dolphins use echolocation to navigate, find food and communicate with other dolphins. They send out a signal—a clicking sound to us humans—and then the signal bounces back, letting them know what lies ahead—in essence “seeing” with sound.
Through echolocation, dolphins can allegedly detect pregnancy, as well as tumors or other illnesses in humans. Dolphins’ echolocation is also said to induce changes in a person’s cellular membranes and body tissue, creating healing and deep relaxation—and people say they can actually feel it happening. The physiological effects are similar to that of music therapy. Some simply believe that swimming with dolphins is fun and that the unconditional love of dolphins imparts a feeling of joy in humans; others even believe that dolphins are extraterrestrials or angels sent to Earth to save our species.
Regardless of the mechanisms behind DAT’s benefits, these incredibly intelligent, remarkably sensitive creatures have much to share with humankind. Swimming with dolphins can be a soothing, otherworldly experience that distracts adults from the problems in their lives, fills physically challenged children with excitement and a zest for life...and quite possibly stimulates healing by connecting humans with our true natural origins. All it takes is a life vest and an open mind.
Dolphins make a splash with a mystifying health modality.
By Jessica Ridenour
There are many mysteries in our universe that remain unsolved: the downfall of the dinosaurs, life on other planets and how a single sock can disappear in the dryer. Why Dolphin Assisted Therapy (DAT) is beneficial for treating a host of disorders—including autism, physical and mental disabilities, post-traumatic stress, spine and brain injuries, anxiety and depression—might be another one of those unsolved enigmas, but that doesn’t make it any less relevant for the true believers who deem that these friendly, super-smart mammals have the power to ease what ails you.
Humans’ fascination with dolphins’ intellect and innocent playfulness dates back to the time of Aristotle, who was the first scientist to study cetaceans (dolphins, whales and porpoises). In the 1950s, Dr. John Lilly (who also invented the floatation tanks discussed in June ET’s Holistic Healing) studied communication between humans and dolphins. In the 60s, the US Navy launched its Marine Mammal Program, in which dolphins were trained to locate mines, perform underwater surveillance (thanks to fin-mounted cameras), bring equipment to divers and more. Cetaceans’ potential impact on human well-being entered the picture in the 70s, when Dr. Betsy Smith first introduced the idea of dolphin therapy. Today, the dolphin allure endures, with DAT centers located around the world.
One such center is Island Dolphin Care (www.islanddolphincare.org) in Key Largo, Florida. This nonprofit group offers intensive dolphin therapy sessions for special-needs kids, including those with life-threatening conditions and long-term, chronic physical, mental or emotional disabilities. Accompanied by a therapist, children at the center can interact with dolphins from a platform or enter the water for one-on-one play sessions with the helpful creatures. Often used in conjunction with human-assisted therapy, dolphin swims can help children who may struggle in everyday life to suddenly feel empowered, confident and free.
“It’s a recreational, motivational and educational experience,” says program manager Pete Hoagland. “We see some kids have major breakthroughs. I would say at the very least the kids have a remarkable experience and I would say in most cases the kids in the programs move in one way or another towards a positive outcome, whatever their challenge might’ve been.” Hoagland, whose wife Deena is a therapist and executive director of the organization, compares the program to other animal therapy modalities, such as equestrian therapy, but notes that floating in the water with a dolphin is likely easier for a severely impaired child than riding a horse.
The Hoaglands were no strangers to the benefits of DAT even before founding IDC. After their son, Joe, was born with a heart defect and was left paralyzed on his left side by a stroke at age three, his parents took him to swim with the dolphins as often as possible. He is now a college-age adult with few remaining symptoms of his stroke.
“We’ve seen some remarkable things here, using the excitement and motivation of the dolphins, which is a powerful tool,” says Pete, “and we do see kids say their first words or take their first steps, or change the behavior that was not productive.” But he’s quick to add that there is no “miracle” to be found here. “We absolutely do not suggest that dolphins can cure or heal,” he says. “There’s no hard science or research that would allow us to promote it, and so we don’t; but animals and kids in general have something of a natural connection.”
The Dolphin is IN
Children aren’t the only ones who benefit from dolphins. Florida-based nurse and bodywork practitioner Corinna Soumerai has been swimming with dolphins, both in the wild and in captivity, for over 25 years. For her, it’s more of a spiritual, personal encounter. “When I had my first experience with a dolphin, I wept,” she reveals. “The connection I had by looking into the dolphin’s eyes was so deep for me; I felt a sense of love, a sense of being home...like I was with an enlightened entity.” Visiting with a psychotherapist was unfulfilling for Soumerai; instead, she would swim with dolphins, returning from each swim with a permanent smile on her face, profound emotional healing and deep sleep afterward. “I liked the results I got with a bigger being or a bigger force of nature,” she says. “I think that the cetaceans are here to remind us that we were once connected and are still connected to nature.”
While the jury is still officially out as to why DAT is such a powerfully effective therapy for some patients, theories abound. One such hypothesis is based on dolphins’ use of sonar and what is called echolocation. Dolphins use echolocation to navigate, find food and communicate with other dolphins. They send out a signal—a clicking sound to us humans—and then the signal bounces back, letting them know what lies ahead—in essence “seeing” with sound.
Through echolocation, dolphins can allegedly detect pregnancy, as well as tumors or other illnesses in humans. Dolphins’ echolocation is also said to induce changes in a person’s cellular membranes and body tissue, creating healing and deep relaxation—and people say they can actually feel it happening. The physiological effects are similar to that of music therapy. Some simply believe that swimming with dolphins is fun and that the unconditional love of dolphins imparts a feeling of joy in humans; others even believe that dolphins are extraterrestrials or angels sent to Earth to save our species.
Regardless of the mechanisms behind DAT’s benefits, these incredibly intelligent, remarkably sensitive creatures have much to share with humankind. Swimming with dolphins can be a soothing, otherworldly experience that distracts adults from the problems in their lives, fills physically challenged children with excitement and a zest for life...and quite possibly stimulates healing by connecting humans with our true natural origins. All it takes is a life vest and an open mind.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 29 Jul 2007 05:09:26 -0700
This old couple is ready to go to sleep so ...
This old couple is ready to go to sleep so the old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor.
The old man asks, "Why are you going to sleep on the floor?"
The old woman says, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change."
Payin' The Bills
Superbad
In Theaters August 17th
Come Get Some
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2007 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Date: 29 Jul 2007 05:09:26 -0700
This old couple is ready to go to sleep so ...
This old couple is ready to go to sleep so the old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor.
The old man asks, "Why are you going to sleep on the floor?"
The old woman says, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change."
Payin' The Bills
Superbad
In Theaters August 17th
Come Get Some
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2007 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 26 Jul 2007 09:59:43 -0700

Dating a Prostitute
A guy is on a date with this girl, so he takes her to Lover's Lane.
When they get up there, she says, ''I have to be honest with you, I'm a hooker.'' The guy thinks about this for a short time and says it's okay. He agrees to pay her $25 and they start having sex.
After they finish, the guy says, ''I have to be honest with you now. I'm a cab driver and it'll cost you $25 for me to drive you back into town.''
Payin' The Bills
Red Stripe
Its beer!
Hooray Beer!™
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2007 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Date: 26 Jul 2007 09:59:43 -0700

Dating a Prostitute
A guy is on a date with this girl, so he takes her to Lover's Lane.
When they get up there, she says, ''I have to be honest with you, I'm a hooker.'' The guy thinks about this for a short time and says it's okay. He agrees to pay her $25 and they start having sex.
After they finish, the guy says, ''I have to be honest with you now. I'm a cab driver and it'll cost you $25 for me to drive you back into town.''
Payin' The Bills
Red Stripe
Its beer!
Hooray Beer!™
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2007 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 22 Jul 2007 05:09:28 -0700

Tight Skirt, Bus Stop
One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step.
Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.
So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.
So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"
Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Date: 22 Jul 2007 05:09:28 -0700

Tight Skirt, Bus Stop
One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step.
Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.
So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.
So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"
Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Paraplegic
There once was a lady who was tired of living alone. So she put an ad in the paper which outlined her requirements. She wanted a man who...
1) would treat her nicely
2) wouldn't run away from her
3) would be good in bed.
Then, one day, she heard the doorbell ring. She answered it, and there on the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs.
"I'm here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you."
"Yes, but are you good in bed?"
"How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
There once was a lady who was tired of living alone. So she put an ad in the paper which outlined her requirements. She wanted a man who...
1) would treat her nicely
2) wouldn't run away from her
3) would be good in bed.
Then, one day, she heard the doorbell ring. She answered it, and there on the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs.
"I'm here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you."
"Yes, but are you good in bed?"
"How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 13 Jul 2007 05:09:24 -0700

The Firing Squad
A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad for his crimes. The evening before his execution, he was asked what he wanted for his last meal. He refused the meal completely.
The next morning the man was brought before the firing squad. When asked for his last request, the man said he had none. The General in charge of his execution asked him, ''Sir, you refused your last meal and your last request. Isn't there anything you want before you die?''
The man thought for a moment, then said, ''Music has always been an important part of my life. If I could do but one thing before I die, would you allow me to sing my favorite song from beginning to end, without interruption?''
The General thought this was a reasonable request, and ordered his men to lower their weapons and to not interrupt for the duration of the song.
''Ten million bottles of beer on the wall...''
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Date: 13 Jul 2007 05:09:24 -0700

The Firing Squad
A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad for his crimes. The evening before his execution, he was asked what he wanted for his last meal. He refused the meal completely.
The next morning the man was brought before the firing squad. When asked for his last request, the man said he had none. The General in charge of his execution asked him, ''Sir, you refused your last meal and your last request. Isn't there anything you want before you die?''
The man thought for a moment, then said, ''Music has always been an important part of my life. If I could do but one thing before I die, would you allow me to sing my favorite song from beginning to end, without interruption?''
The General thought this was a reasonable request, and ordered his men to lower their weapons and to not interrupt for the duration of the song.
''Ten million bottles of beer on the wall...''
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
To view this email as a web page, click here.
Editor's Note
Many of the authors we work with at AuthorHouse want to publish their work because they have a strong desire to share their stories with others. These are writers who have overcome obstacles, learned from their own history and want to offer a message of hope to those who may be searching in a time of need. With today's constant media coverage of death, war and conflict, writers trying to plant seeds of hope for the next generation cannot be taken for granted.
One particularly inspiring story of hope is that of Lori Lober, featured in this month's Author Corner. Lober was diagnosed with stage-four cancer, but now, seven years later there is no evidence of the disease in her body. With a strong desire to share her story with other cancer patients, Lober has published the journal she kept while undergoing treatment. She is not only a source of inspiration for those in dire health, but for anyone who aspires to share their personal message of hope.
Enjoy this issue!
Kind regards,
Erica Dorocke (vip@authorhouse.com)
Editor
In This Issue:
Lori Lober turned her stage-four cancer diagnosis into a story of hope.
Author Corner >>
___________________________________
Finding the best words in your writing may require a new form.
Writing Feature >>
___________________________________
Attracting readers to your Web site requires carefully chosen content.
Marketing Feature >>
___________________________________
AuthorHouse named official book publishing resource partner for the largest organization of business and personal coaches in the world.
AuthorHouse News >>
Author Corner
Author Transforms Cancer Diagnosis into a Source of Hope
Many writers keep a journal so they can constantly capture those fleeting ideas that arrive in moments of inspiration, whether it is in the midst of a summer thunderstorm or in the moments of surreal silence before we drift off to sleep. Lori Lober, though she'd tell you she's not a "writer," started keeping a journal when she was originally diagnosed with stage-four cancer. Seven years later, Lober has repeatedly received a "no evidence of disease" diagnosis and continues to live each day with a desire to plant the seeds of hope in patients who face an advanced stage cancer diagnosis.
Read more >>
Marketing Feature
Creating Effective Content for Your Web Site
Once you've handled the logistics of setting up a Web site and established a visible Web presence for your book, you'll need to choose content to feature on your site. Attracting readers to your Web site--and keeping them coming back--requires a coordinated effort to make your site fast, convenient and packed with information that is useful, specific and regularly updated.
Read more >>
Writing Feature
Playing Around With Your Words
The dreaded "writer's block" can strike at any time. It tends to surface when writers start on a new topic or get bogged down trying to conform to a particular expectation or structure. Sometimes all it takes to get the creative juices flowing again is experimentation in a new form or genre, which allows you to play around with your style and word selection and return to your work with fresh ideas and a new perspective.
Read more >>
AuthorHouse News
AuthorHouse Named ICF Book Publishing Partner
AuthorHouse was named the official resource partner for book publishing for the International Coach Federation in a joint announcement made by Bryan S. Smith, president and CEO of AuthorHouse and Gary E. Boyler, executive director of the ICF.
The International Coach Federation is the largest worldwide resource for business and personal coaches, and the source for those who are seeking a coach. ICF has more than 12,000 members in 81 countries around the world.
"Publishing a book is one of the methods our members can utilize to build their coaching practice," Boyler said. "By partnering with AuthorHouse, ICF provides its membership with the means to publish, promote and distribute books worldwide, which will contribute in substantial measure to the global coaching body of knowledge."
Read more >>
What's New at AuthorHouse
Congratulations to Award-Winning Authors
Barbara and Jon Hall's Adam's Eve won the Silver Award in the ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year awards. Adam's Eve explores our culture's shifting gender roles and provides knowledge for making important decisions within this transition.
Jacqueline Miconi's Celebrate...Italian Style was a 2007 New York Book Festival runner-up for non-fiction. Dr. Debi Warner was honored by the New York Book Festival for her "how-to" book Renovation Psychology.
Conferences & Events to Attend Contests to Enter
Find inspiration and education at a writers' conference near you in 2007.
View Conferences & Events >> Ready for a challenge? Get the new year off to a great start by entering contests in 2007.
Contests to Enter >>
>Author Corner | Writing Feature | Book Marketing | AuthorHouse News | Conferences | Contests
Editor's Note
Many of the authors we work with at AuthorHouse want to publish their work because they have a strong desire to share their stories with others. These are writers who have overcome obstacles, learned from their own history and want to offer a message of hope to those who may be searching in a time of need. With today's constant media coverage of death, war and conflict, writers trying to plant seeds of hope for the next generation cannot be taken for granted.
One particularly inspiring story of hope is that of Lori Lober, featured in this month's Author Corner. Lober was diagnosed with stage-four cancer, but now, seven years later there is no evidence of the disease in her body. With a strong desire to share her story with other cancer patients, Lober has published the journal she kept while undergoing treatment. She is not only a source of inspiration for those in dire health, but for anyone who aspires to share their personal message of hope.
Enjoy this issue!
Kind regards,
Erica Dorocke (vip@authorhouse.com)
Editor
In This Issue:
Lori Lober turned her stage-four cancer diagnosis into a story of hope.
Author Corner >>
___________________________________
Finding the best words in your writing may require a new form.
Writing Feature >>
___________________________________
Attracting readers to your Web site requires carefully chosen content.
Marketing Feature >>
___________________________________
AuthorHouse named official book publishing resource partner for the largest organization of business and personal coaches in the world.
AuthorHouse News >>
Author Corner
Author Transforms Cancer Diagnosis into a Source of Hope
Many writers keep a journal so they can constantly capture those fleeting ideas that arrive in moments of inspiration, whether it is in the midst of a summer thunderstorm or in the moments of surreal silence before we drift off to sleep. Lori Lober, though she'd tell you she's not a "writer," started keeping a journal when she was originally diagnosed with stage-four cancer. Seven years later, Lober has repeatedly received a "no evidence of disease" diagnosis and continues to live each day with a desire to plant the seeds of hope in patients who face an advanced stage cancer diagnosis.
Read more >>
Marketing Feature
Creating Effective Content for Your Web Site
Once you've handled the logistics of setting up a Web site and established a visible Web presence for your book, you'll need to choose content to feature on your site. Attracting readers to your Web site--and keeping them coming back--requires a coordinated effort to make your site fast, convenient and packed with information that is useful, specific and regularly updated.
Read more >>
Writing Feature
Playing Around With Your Words
The dreaded "writer's block" can strike at any time. It tends to surface when writers start on a new topic or get bogged down trying to conform to a particular expectation or structure. Sometimes all it takes to get the creative juices flowing again is experimentation in a new form or genre, which allows you to play around with your style and word selection and return to your work with fresh ideas and a new perspective.
Read more >>
AuthorHouse News
AuthorHouse Named ICF Book Publishing Partner
AuthorHouse was named the official resource partner for book publishing for the International Coach Federation in a joint announcement made by Bryan S. Smith, president and CEO of AuthorHouse and Gary E. Boyler, executive director of the ICF.
The International Coach Federation is the largest worldwide resource for business and personal coaches, and the source for those who are seeking a coach. ICF has more than 12,000 members in 81 countries around the world.
"Publishing a book is one of the methods our members can utilize to build their coaching practice," Boyler said. "By partnering with AuthorHouse, ICF provides its membership with the means to publish, promote and distribute books worldwide, which will contribute in substantial measure to the global coaching body of knowledge."
Read more >>
What's New at AuthorHouse
Congratulations to Award-Winning Authors
Barbara and Jon Hall's Adam's Eve won the Silver Award in the ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year awards. Adam's Eve explores our culture's shifting gender roles and provides knowledge for making important decisions within this transition.
Jacqueline Miconi's Celebrate...Italian Style was a 2007 New York Book Festival runner-up for non-fiction. Dr. Debi Warner was honored by the New York Book Festival for her "how-to" book Renovation Psychology.
Conferences & Events to Attend Contests to Enter
Find inspiration and education at a writers' conference near you in 2007.
View Conferences & Events >> Ready for a challenge? Get the new year off to a great start by entering contests in 2007.
Contests to Enter >>
>Author Corner | Writing Feature | Book Marketing | AuthorHouse News | Conferences | Contests
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 10 Jul 2007 05:09:21 -0700

Stuttering Problem
A man visits the doctor's because he has a severe stuttering problem. After a thorough examination, the doctor consults with the patient.
Doctor: "It appears that the reason for your stuttering is that your penis is about six inches too long and it is thus pulling on your vocal cords, and thereby causing you this annoying problem of stuttering."
"Ddddd octttor. Whhaaat cccan I dddo?"
The doctor scratches his forehead, thinks for a minute and states that there is a procedure where we can free up the strain on the vocal cords by removing the six inches from the penis and freeing him from this horrible problem. The patient stuttering badly states that this problem has caused him so much embarrassment as well as loss of employment that anything would be worth it. The doctor plans for the procedure. The operation is a success and six months later the patient comes in for his check up.
Patient: Doctor, the operation was a success. I have not stuttered since the operation. I have a great job and my self esteem is fantastic. However, there is one problem, my wife says that she sort of misses the great sex we used to have before the extra six inches were removed. So I was wondering if it is possible to reattach those six inches.
The doctor scratches his forehead, thinks for a minute and says: "I dddoonnnbt ttthhhinkkkk thatttt wooould bbbbee possssssibbble!"
Payin' The Bills
Get all your friends in one place with the Sidekick ID.
It has everything you need with IM, Web, and E-mail.
All for just $99.99.
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Date: 10 Jul 2007 05:09:21 -0700

Stuttering Problem
A man visits the doctor's because he has a severe stuttering problem. After a thorough examination, the doctor consults with the patient.
Doctor: "It appears that the reason for your stuttering is that your penis is about six inches too long and it is thus pulling on your vocal cords, and thereby causing you this annoying problem of stuttering."
"Ddddd octttor. Whhaaat cccan I dddo?"
The doctor scratches his forehead, thinks for a minute and states that there is a procedure where we can free up the strain on the vocal cords by removing the six inches from the penis and freeing him from this horrible problem. The patient stuttering badly states that this problem has caused him so much embarrassment as well as loss of employment that anything would be worth it. The doctor plans for the procedure. The operation is a success and six months later the patient comes in for his check up.
Patient: Doctor, the operation was a success. I have not stuttered since the operation. I have a great job and my self esteem is fantastic. However, there is one problem, my wife says that she sort of misses the great sex we used to have before the extra six inches were removed. So I was wondering if it is possible to reattach those six inches.
The doctor scratches his forehead, thinks for a minute and says: "I dddoonnnbt ttthhhinkkkk thatttt wooould bbbbee possssssibbble!"
Payin' The Bills
Get all your friends in one place with the Sidekick ID.
It has everything you need with IM, Web, and E-mail.
All for just $99.99.
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Friday, July 06, 2007
Baby Delivery
>
>Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house
>was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a
>flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the
>baby.
>
>Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.
>
>Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.
>
>The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom.
>Connor began to cry.
>
>The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed
>3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
>
>Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the
>first place... smack his ass again!"
>
>Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house
>was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a
>flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the
>baby.
>
>Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.
>
>Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.
>
>The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom.
>Connor began to cry.
>
>The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed
>3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
>
>Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the
>first place... smack his ass again!"
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 28 Jun 2007 05:11:05 -0700

Lawyer... Genius
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?
A: Your honor.
Payin' The Bills
Presenting the $1,000,000 Putt from Top Flite Golf
Enter today for Your Chance to Win One Million Dollars!
Contest Ends Soon so Register Today!
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Date: 28 Jun 2007 05:11:05 -0700

Lawyer... Genius
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?
A: Your honor.
Payin' The Bills
Presenting the $1,000,000 Putt from Top Flite Golf
Enter today for Your Chance to Win One Million Dollars!
Contest Ends Soon so Register Today!
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Adoption Book available on booklocker.com under Family heading then search under "MacKenzie's Hope."
Contact | FAQ | Publish & Sell | Getting Your Books/Ebooks | Wholesale Orders | Search | Home
Title: MacKenzie's Hope
Author: Terri Rimmer
Format: PDF (ebook)
Pages: 238
Ebook: $10.00 BUY Ebook
Category: Family
About the Book
Free Excerpt From The Book (requires Adobe Acrobat Reader)
MacKenzie's Hope is the true story of one birth mom's experience placing her child in a semi-open adoption while living in a maternity home in Fort Worth, TX. The story takes place in the year 2000 and includes a childhood background of the author/birth mom detailing her many obstacles throughout life such as alcoholism, depression, sexual and physical abuse, sex addiction, and bipolar disorder. While the story is at times tragic it is also the portrait of a woman who will not and does not give up despite what others tell her throughout her life.
The story begins when Tara, the birth mom finds out she is pregnant for the first time at the age of 34. For 14 years she did not think she was physically capable of having children so this pregnancy news was a huge shock and not happy news given the birth mom's mental and physical conditions. The birth mom is in constant conflict, which she later resolves, between society's expectations of her as a mother preparing to have a child and her own resolve to give her child the home she deserves. Tara deals continuously with guilt, shame, remorse, and regret before, during, and after her decision to place her only child for adoption, however she does come to terms with her commitment eventually after a series of painful and intense self-discoveries on her path to peace and happiness.
The book gives the reader a rare look at what it is like to make an adoption decision from the birth mom's standpoint and also includes the experiences of the adoptive parents, the birth mom's siblings, adoptive parents - families, and other adoptive children, the birth father, biological grandparents, relatives, and house parents who work in the maternity home. The story is one of rich detail and imagery captured from the eyes of the birth mom and her emotions, experiences, and memories coupled with the communications from her significant others which include a close relationship with the adoptive parents she later chooses for her child.
About the Author
Terri Rimmer has 21 years of journalism experience, having worked for ten newspapers and some magazines. In 2003 her life story was published online at Adoption Week E-Magazine's website and in 2002 she received a grant from the PEN American Writer's Fund in New York City.
Our Ebooks are in PDF. All you need to read them is
Adobe Acrobat Reader, which is free. (And you probably have it already!)
Copyright © 1998 - 2007 Booklocker.com, Inc. - All rights reserved. Privacy Policy
Contact | FAQ | Publish & Sell | Getting Your Books/Ebooks | Wholesale Orders | Search | Home
Title: MacKenzie's Hope
Author: Terri Rimmer
Format: PDF (ebook)
Pages: 238
Ebook: $10.00 BUY Ebook
Category: Family
About the Book
Free Excerpt From The Book (requires Adobe Acrobat Reader)
MacKenzie's Hope is the true story of one birth mom's experience placing her child in a semi-open adoption while living in a maternity home in Fort Worth, TX. The story takes place in the year 2000 and includes a childhood background of the author/birth mom detailing her many obstacles throughout life such as alcoholism, depression, sexual and physical abuse, sex addiction, and bipolar disorder. While the story is at times tragic it is also the portrait of a woman who will not and does not give up despite what others tell her throughout her life.
The story begins when Tara, the birth mom finds out she is pregnant for the first time at the age of 34. For 14 years she did not think she was physically capable of having children so this pregnancy news was a huge shock and not happy news given the birth mom's mental and physical conditions. The birth mom is in constant conflict, which she later resolves, between society's expectations of her as a mother preparing to have a child and her own resolve to give her child the home she deserves. Tara deals continuously with guilt, shame, remorse, and regret before, during, and after her decision to place her only child for adoption, however she does come to terms with her commitment eventually after a series of painful and intense self-discoveries on her path to peace and happiness.
The book gives the reader a rare look at what it is like to make an adoption decision from the birth mom's standpoint and also includes the experiences of the adoptive parents, the birth mom's siblings, adoptive parents - families, and other adoptive children, the birth father, biological grandparents, relatives, and house parents who work in the maternity home. The story is one of rich detail and imagery captured from the eyes of the birth mom and her emotions, experiences, and memories coupled with the communications from her significant others which include a close relationship with the adoptive parents she later chooses for her child.
About the Author
Terri Rimmer has 21 years of journalism experience, having worked for ten newspapers and some magazines. In 2003 her life story was published online at Adoption Week E-Magazine's website and in 2002 she received a grant from the PEN American Writer's Fund in New York City.
Our Ebooks are in PDF. All you need to read them is
Adobe Acrobat Reader, which is free. (And you probably have it already!)
Copyright © 1998 - 2007 Booklocker.com, Inc. - All rights reserved. Privacy Policy
You can also sign up to do tasks for people for pay by
creating a profile at the site.
Hello,
wordtrix just joined DoMyStuff.com and would like to send you an
invitation. With DoMyStuff.com, you can outsource your chores and errands to
businesses and individuals located near you. That means more time for
you and the things you want to do!
It's FREE to join DoMyStuff.com and registration is easy! To register,
just click this link or copy and paste it into your browser:
http://www.domystuff.com/main.php?rid=PFGXQA
Thank you,
DoMyStuff.com Team
http://www.DoMyStuff.com
creating a profile at the site.
Hello,
wordtrix just joined DoMyStuff.com and would like to send you an
invitation. With DoMyStuff.com, you can outsource your chores and errands to
businesses and individuals located near you. That means more time for
you and the things you want to do!
It's FREE to join DoMyStuff.com and registration is easy! To register,
just click this link or copy and paste it into your browser:
http://www.domystuff.com/main.php?rid=PFGXQA
Thank you,
DoMyStuff.com Team
http://www.DoMyStuff.com
Monday, June 25, 2007
Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 25 Jun 2007 05:09:24 -0700

English Patient
An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died.
The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said:
YOU WANKER -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN PIPE!!!
Payin' The Bills
You lock your keys in the car, get lost or break down on the side of the road. But you don't worry. Because you're smart--you get the OnStar treatment.
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Date: 25 Jun 2007 05:09:24 -0700

English Patient
An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died.
The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said:
YOU WANKER -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN PIPE!!!
Payin' The Bills
You lock your keys in the car, get lost or break down on the side of the road. But you don't worry. Because you're smart--you get the OnStar treatment.
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
SKINNY DIPPING
>>
>>An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.
>>He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely: Picnic tables,
>>horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and some apple and peach
>>trees.
>>The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming.
>>One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and
>>look it over, as he hadn't been there in a while. He grabbed a
>>five-gallon
>>bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard
>>voices
>>shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a
>>bunch
>>of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware
>>of his
>>presence and they all went to the deep end.
>>One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you
>>leave!"
>>The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies
>>swim
>>naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
>>Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
>>Old men can still think fast.
>
>>
>>An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.
>>He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely: Picnic tables,
>>horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and some apple and peach
>>trees.
>>The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming.
>>One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and
>>look it over, as he hadn't been there in a while. He grabbed a
>>five-gallon
>>bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard
>>voices
>>shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a
>>bunch
>>of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware
>>of his
>>presence and they all went to the deep end.
>>One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you
>>leave!"
>>The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies
>>swim
>>naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
>>Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
>>Old men can still think fast.
>
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Friday, June 08, 2007
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 28 May 2007 05:09:15 -0700
Teaching a Buncha Hooligans
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny, Pat?"
"I just saw one of your garters!"
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"
"I just saw both of your garters!"
Again, she yells, "Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don't want to see you for three weeks!"
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asks.
"From what I just saw, my school days are over!"
Payin' The Bills
If you haven't played Wii yet, go get your hands on it.
You’ll feel more connected to the game than ever before.
Experience Wii from Nintendo at wii.com
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Date: 28 May 2007 05:09:15 -0700
Teaching a Buncha Hooligans
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny, Pat?"
"I just saw one of your garters!"
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"
"I just saw both of your garters!"
Again, she yells, "Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don't want to see you for three weeks!"
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asks.
"From what I just saw, my school days are over!"
Payin' The Bills
If you haven't played Wii yet, go get your hands on it.
You’ll feel more connected to the game than ever before.
Experience Wii from Nintendo at wii.com
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 21 May 2007 05:09:19 -0700
Baby Talk
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mom, "Of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Date: 21 May 2007 05:09:19 -0700
Baby Talk
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mom, "Of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Subject: Fwd: COOL TIPS
I haven't tried these, but it would be nice if they really worked. Let me know if you try any of these suggestions and they work for you. Linda/Mom
Eliminate ear mites. All it takes is a few drops of Wesson corn oil in your cat's ear...Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing.
Kills fleas instantly...Dawn dishwashing liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Good-bye fleas. THIS WORKS OUR NEW PUP WAS LOADED WITH FLEA WHEN WE GOT IT..THIS DID THE TRICK
Rainy day cure for dog odor ...Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh. Did You Know that drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately-- without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional "pain relievers."
Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns.
Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try c hewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. ! They'll clear up your stuffed nose.
Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles.
Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.
Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly-- even though the product was never been advertised for this use.
Honey remedy for skin blemishes ... Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a Band-Aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight.
Listerine therapy for toenail fungus. Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.
Easy eyeglass protection... To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.
Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer ... If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly.
Smart splinter remover. Just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue-All over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue.
Hunt's tomato paste boil cure ...cover the boil with Hunt's tomato paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head.
Balm for broken blisters... To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine. a powerful antiseptic.
Vinegar to heal bruises ... Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.
Quaker Oats for fast pain relief... It's not for breakfast any more! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing reli ef from arthritis pain.
If you send this to 10 people and only one of them doesn't know about this, then it was worth it.
I haven't tried these, but it would be nice if they really worked. Let me know if you try any of these suggestions and they work for you. Linda/Mom
Eliminate ear mites. All it takes is a few drops of Wesson corn oil in your cat's ear...Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing.
Kills fleas instantly...Dawn dishwashing liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Good-bye fleas. THIS WORKS OUR NEW PUP WAS LOADED WITH FLEA WHEN WE GOT IT..THIS DID THE TRICK
Rainy day cure for dog odor ...Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh. Did You Know that drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately-- without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional "pain relievers."
Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns.
Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try c hewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. ! They'll clear up your stuffed nose.
Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles.
Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.
Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly-- even though the product was never been advertised for this use.
Honey remedy for skin blemishes ... Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a Band-Aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight.
Listerine therapy for toenail fungus. Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.
Easy eyeglass protection... To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.
Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer ... If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly.
Smart splinter remover. Just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue-All over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue.
Hunt's tomato paste boil cure ...cover the boil with Hunt's tomato paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head.
Balm for broken blisters... To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine. a powerful antiseptic.
Vinegar to heal bruises ... Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.
Quaker Oats for fast pain relief... It's not for breakfast any more! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing reli ef from arthritis pain.
If you send this to 10 people and only one of them doesn't know about this, then it was worth it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)