Why Some People Can't Get Sober
By Terri Rimmer
Published 01/3/2008
Religion & Spirituality
Rating: Unrated
Terri Rimmer
Terri Rimmer has 24 years of journalism experience, having worked for ten newspapers and some magazines. Currently she writes for http://associatedcontent.com. She has a daughter, McKenna, whom she placed for adoption in August 2000. Ms. Rimmer published her e-book "MacKenzie's Hope" on http://booklocker.com under the family heading. It's also listed on http://adopting.com. She resides in Fort Worth, TX. In 2007 she won a Media Award from Associated Content and in 2005 she received a grant from Change, Inc. In 2003.
View all articles by Terri Rimmer
Why Some People Can't Get Sober
There’s a scene in the 1988 movie “Clean and Sober” with Michael Keaton where a character cannot seem to get off alcohol.

In actual life, Mike, who has been to prison twice and rehab once, prefers panhandling to getting sober and the problem at his Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) group has gotten so bad that the steering committee recently had a meeting about his continually asking for money from members. Recently Mike went AWOL from a two-year treatment program and was back at the group panhandling again only this time no one is helping him. Everyone says they’re fed up. (Source: Southwest Group).

Michelle, who has also been in and out of the “program” of AA for years, takes advantage of her dying mother by living off of her and getting drunk off and on. As of now Michelle has two days sober.

Linda, also around AA for many years and a former paralegal in Miami, FL, has only recently gotten sober after experimenting with cocaine during her last relapse and losing everything. (Source: San Marco Group).

There are many theories as to why some people in AA get clean and sober and others don’t.

Certain members in the program say that if you enable the drunk he will not get sober and that he has to hit his bottom, meaning don’t interrupt his journey and let him face the consequences of his behavior. Others feel that you should help the alcoholic as much as you can.

On page 25 of the AA textbook, Alcoholics Anonymous, it is written that “If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution” meaning that it is all or nothing in the program when it comes to stopping drinking; that you must be willing to take the suggestions to stay stopped. The alcoholic who wants to stop drinking must have all the desperation of a dying man, according to the book. He or she get that when people keep bailing them out?

The other key is that the alcoholic must be willing to admit she is a real alcoholic, that is a person who has no choice in the matter of drink.

Lack of power, that was our dilemma, as stated on page 45 of the textbook. The alcoholic has no defense against the first drink and the problem of alcoholism centers in the mind. So the person who cannot stop drinking first has to admit that they have the problem and that they have no control over it. Perhaps that is another reason why people like Linda, Michelle, and Mike cannot stop drinking, because they are still living with the assumption that they can stop any time and they are in control. People die this way.

"It doesn’t matter why the jackass is in the ditch, just get him out of the ditch,” says Claudia, a long-time member of AA. “Some people don’t want to get sober. Some people just want a pack of Marlboros and a bucket of chicken.”

Still others struggle with the concept of God, or a Higher Power, which is talked about at length in the chapter “We Agnostics” but the beauty of the program is that you don’t have to believe in anyone’s God but your own conception of a power greater than yourself.