Juno The Movie Versus Real Birth Moms
By Terri Rimmer
Published Yesterday
Chlidren
Rating: Unrated
Terri Rimmer
Terri Rimmer has 24 years of journalism experience, having worked for ten newspapers and some magazines. Currently she writes for http://associatedcontent.com. She has a daughter, McKenna, whom she placed for adoption in August 2000. Ms. Rimmer published her e-book "MacKenzie's Hope" on http://booklocker.com under the family heading. It's also listed on http://adopting.com. She resides in Fort Worth, TX. In 2007 she won a Media Award from Associated Content and in 2005 she received a grant from Change, Inc.
View all articles by Terri Rimmer
Does the film depict what adoption is really like?
A lot of talk has been going on about the popular teen movie “Juno” about a girl who gets pregnant and places her child for adoption.



The movie takes the typical safe route in a lot of ways when it comes to portraying birth moms in a realistic light, that is to say they did not do so. Instead they opted for the story to be a closed adoption and for the birth mom on screen to be viewed as a smart-alecky brat who moves on after saying goodbye to her baby without incident. This is, of course, what society preaches and the film did birth moms no favors with regard to telling a real story. I can tell you as a birth mom involved in a semi-open adoption that you don’t “just move on” after placing your child into the arms of his or her new parents. But society wants us to do just that so they don’t have to deal with our grief.



I can count on one hand how many people actually acknowledged my pain and let me grieve.



Many bloggers have made their opinions known on various boards across the country, some who have no experience with adoption, others who do.



But, I think this birth mom hit the nail on the head when she said, “Giving your child up is not the simple solution this movie has made it out to be nor is the closed adoption it advocates healthy for the mother or child.” (http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/blog/2007/12/31/juno-misses-chance-to-address-abortion-honestly).



One statement made by someone who saw the film was that just because the adoptive parents were rich was no reason for the birth mom to choose them. Yes, the adoptive parents of my little girl are better off than me, but that is not the entire reason I chose them

. No money does not necessarily equal happiness but in my case I knew they would be able to provide things for her that I would not be able to and I’m not talking about ponies and a tiara. As it turns out my birth daughter wound up with a medical condition and the adoptive parents I chose are both nurses though when I picked them I did not know she was going to have a problem at the time.



Another person stated on one of the websites after seeing the film that birth moms shouldn’t make sure that adoptive parents get their need fulfilled by furnishing them with a child. It’s not about getting their needs filled. It’s a lot more than that. In my case, the adoptive parents of my little girl went through three miscarriages and three birth moms changing their mind before they met me. So to say they have been through a lot in that arena is putting it mildly.



Someone else made the comment that if the character in the film is supposed to be so “whip-smart” as described in movie reviews, why did she get pregnant? Well, I have been called smart yet I got pregnant because for 14 years I didn’t think I could conceive.



The fact that the screenwriter chose to make the film “quirky, funny, and smarmy” says a lot about how society isn’t ready to deal with the real picture of adoption when it comes to birth moms. And they even have a line of merchandise to go with the movie like it’s all a game. Oh, and don’t forget the hip soundtrack.



And another thing: A closed adoption doesn’t mean that the birth mom hangs out at the adoptive couple’s house all the time. In fact, in reality she would have no idea of where they live or who they are.



Note to filmmakers: Next time you want to make a realistic adoption movie, talk to some real birth moms, adoptive parents, and adoptees.