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Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day



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Who Is God?

A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?" "Both son. God is both."
After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"

"Both son, both."

"Daddy, does God love children?"

"Yes son, he loves all children."

The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"





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Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day




Elephant Time

A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgot his watch. He searches for someone who could give him the time. He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. "Excuse me, sir," says the young man "Do you know what time it is?"
The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them.

"Mmmmm, it is about 3:00," the zoo keeper responds.

The young man looks at him in awe, "How did you know that?" The zoo keeper looks back at the man, "I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you."

Terri says,
Gas-saving tips




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Recommendations From Linkedin.com:
Recommendations are listed in chronological order, with most recent at the top.

Freelance Writer at Associated Content
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1 visible recommendation for this position:

“We were very fortunate to have Terri feature some of Contemporary Dance/Fort Worth's "Dance Delivered" educational and community projects in a Happy News article. Terri was great to work with because she took the time to get some background and perspective before writing her story. In addition, she had a great attitude, and was fun and easy to work with... and when you are trying to find time to do something "extra" in a busy day, it is rewarding and worthwhile when the person you're working with appears to genuinely care about the quality of what they're producing. I feel that Terri has great integrity as a writer, and appreciate her work. You can read her article at http://www.happynews.com/news/contemporary-dance-school.htm” May 25, 2008

Kerry Kreiman, Executive/Artistic Director, Contemporary Dance/Fort Worth
was with another company when working with Terri at Associated Content


Pet and House Sitter at USA Self Employed (Self-employed)
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1 visible recommendation for this position:

“Terri is an extremely conciencious pet and house sitter. She is dependable and goes above and beyond the service requested. I would recommend Terri to anyone going out of town or out of the country, to come to your home and take care of pets, plants, mail, turning on and off different lights, so that the place has a "lived in" look.” May 24, 2008

Top qualities: Personable, Expert, High Integrity

Margaret Berry
hired Terri as a Pet and House Sitter in 2,008, and hired Terri more than once


Freelance Writer at Happy News
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1 visible recommendation for this position:

“Terri wrote up a wonderful article highlighting the handcrafted adoption jewelry designs I create. I received some very nice feedback as a result of the article. Terri is very professional and a joy to work with.” May 25, 2008

Barbara Giordano, OffTheCuffArt.com, http://OffTheCuffArt.com
was with another company when working with Terri at Happy News

Recommendation Letter I got

My Linked In Page Profile if you'd like to recommend me:

http://www.linkedin.com/myprofile?trk=hb_side_pro

Terri Rimmer,

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Recommendation Letter:

Recommendation Letter from Volunteer Work:

Recommendation Letter from an Editor:

Letter from a Former Editor:

Letter of recommendation:

(My letter that ran in Wed.'s Star-Telegram):

Thanks for remembering
Thank you so much for running the Mother's Day story "Adoptive parents offer thanks to mom, wherever she may be."
I'm a birth mom who placed my daughter for adoption in 2000. Although I get to see her twice a year, Mother's Day is still very hard for me, as it is for all birth moms. Thanks for remembering us in your paper on this holiday.
-- Terri Rimmer, Fort Worth

Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day






Marital Counseling

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

Fostering Families TODAY : Healing The Hurt

Terri Rimmer,

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Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day






State Trooper

A state trooper pulls a car over for speeding. In the car is an old lady who is hard of hearing and her husband. When the trooper asks the lady for her driver's license the lady responds, "Heh, what did he say?"
The old man speaks up as he says, "HE NEEDS YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE."

A few minutes later the trooper comes back to the car and says, "Ma'am I see you're from Florida."

The old lady comments, "Heh, what did he say?"

The old man speaks up as he says, "HE SEES YOU'RE FROM FLORIDA.'" The old lady nods her head, "Yup."

The trooper mutters, "Boy, one time, I got the worst piece of ass I ever had in Florida."

The old lady replies, "Heh, what did he say?"

The old man yells, "HE SAYS HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU!"




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