Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll feed himself for a lifetime. Give a cat a fish and you'll feed it for a lifetime. You'll never teach a cat how to fish because now it expects you to do it.

Martha Stewart's Holiday Calendar
Date: Wed, 17 Dec 1997 15:29:33 -0500
Dec. 1 Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray-paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas cards.
Dec. 2 Have Morman Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine.
Dec. 3 Using candlewick and hand-gilded pine cones, fashion cat-o'-nine-tails. Flog gardener.
Dec. 4 Address sympathy cards for all friends with elderly relatives, so that they're all ready to be mailed at the moment death occurs.
Dec. 5 Get new eyeglasses. Grind lenses myself.
Dec. 6 Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer committee for consideration.
Dec. 7 Debug Windows 97.
Dec. 10 Finish needlepoint colostomy bag cozy.
Dec. 11 Buy some cockroaches from the less fortunate; decorate eggs.
Dec. 12 Update enemies list. Place in hermetically sealed vault. Remove air, replace with nitrogen.
Dec. 13 Visit crematorium. Collect dentures. They make excellent pastry cutters, particularly for decorative pie crusts.
Dec. 14 Install plumbing in gingerbread house.
Dec. 15 Replace air in minivan tires with Glade "Holiday Scents" in case tires are shot out at the mall.
Dec. 17 Childproof the Christmas tree with garlands of razor wire.
Dec. 19 Adjust legs of chairs so each Christmas dinner guest will be the same height when sitting at his or her assigned seat.
Dec. 20 Dip sheep and cows in egg white and roll in confectioner's sugar to add a festive sparkle to the pasture.
Dec. 21 Outfit neighborhood rats with tiny antlers.
Dec. 22 Float votive candles in toilet tank.
Dec. 23 Seed clouds for White Christmas.
Dec. 24 Do my annual good deed: Go to several stores. Be seen engaged in last-minute Christmas shopping, thus making people feel less inadequate than they really are.
Dec. 25 Bear son. Swaddle. Lay in color-coordinated manger scented with homemade potpourri.
Dec. 26 Write and mail Christmas thank-yous. Order cards for next Christmas. Estimate number of cards needed by allowing for making new friends and actuarially appropriate death rates for current friends and relatives.
Dec. 27 Build snowman in exact likeness of God.
Dec. 29 Enter Style Invitational; win.
Dec. 31 New Year's Eve! Give staff their resolutions. Call a friend in each time zone of the world as the clock strikes midnight in that country.
Jan. 1 1998 Catch up on gardening. Sew leaves back onto trees. Do all cooking for 1998.

Terri Rimmer,
You've been published on Associated Content! View your content here:
www.associatedcontent.com/article/1204349/couple_protects_health_in_landmark.html

Please be an 'angel' for a cold, lonely dog‏
Dear Terri,

As nasty winter weather sets in, neglected, backyard dogs face freezing cold, snow, wind, and rain. For many of these animals, a sturdily constructed doghouse can mean the difference between life and death. That's why PETA's wonderful "Angel for Animals" program is so important. Won't you be an "angel" for a lonely dog this year?

As an "angel" for animals, you can sponsor a specially designed and built doghouse that will provide a needy dog with shelter to see him or her through this winter--and the worst weather for many years to come.

Your sponsorship can immediately change the life of an animal like Spook. When PETA first met Spook, this lonely black dog was shivering outside in the cold. Spook was so big that everyone in the neighborhood was afraid to go near him. Our caseworkers saw that he wasn't aggressive, just energetic and anxious to play. So we unchained him and ran around with him in the yard. We gave him treats and lots of love and attention. Unfortunately, we then had no choice but to chain Spook up again and leave him there.

When PETA can't legally remove abused or neglected dogs, we do everything that we can to make them more comfortable. So we returned to Spook with a custom-built doghouse filled with warm straw bedding—which will give him a warmer place to curl up for years to come. We also gave him a tangle-free running line, an afternoon of playtime, tummy rubs, and a good scratch behind the ears: things that mean the world to lonely backyard dogs.

Last year, PETA provided more than 400 sturdy doghouses, thanks to generous "Angel for Animals" sponsors. With many more dogs in urgent need and temperatures dropping fast, we want to top that number this year, and I hope that we can count on your support. There are so many ways that you can help, including the following:

Your "Angel for Animals" sponsorship gift of $265 can provide a doghouse to one needy dog.


Your "Angel for Animals" sponsorship gift of $530 can provide doghouses to two neglected dogs.


Your "Angel for Animals" sponsorship gift of $1,325 can provide doghouses to five lonely outdoor dogs.
No matter how much you can afford to give, I urge you to respond today. I know that times are tough right now, but it is in times like these when unloved animals suffer most. Nearly all the dogs we reach with our "Angel for Animals" program live in underprivileged neighborhoods. We will fight as hard as we possibly can to ensure that these animals are not mistreated, forgotten, or ignored. Right now, these animals are facing another long winter with nowhere to hide from the stinging cold.

But you can give a doghouse to one lucky dog—likely the first "home" that he or she has ever had. Please become a PETA "Angel for Animals" doghouse sponsor today.

Thank you for helping a neglected dog this winter. Your simple act of kindness can bring one of these dear souls years of shelter, something that they all deserve.

Kind regards,


Ingrid E. Newkirk
President

P.S. Looking for a unique and meaningful gift this holiday season? Give a doghouse sponsorship! When you do, you'll be recognizing that compassionate person as an "angel" for animals. Each "Angel for Animals" sponsorship means that one more needy dog will get a solid-wood doghouse to protect him or her from the cold—and from the summer heat and sun—for years to come.

Terri Rimmer,
You've been published on Associated Content! View your content here:
www.associatedcontent.com/article/1171512/carol_burnett_fort_worth_tx.html