"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit."
~ Aristotle

Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 27 Jan 2007 05:08:45 -0800






Lawyer and the Skunk

What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.









Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.

Looking for female exercise buddy. I have asthma so I need someone who can be understanding as to my limitations. Fort Worth, TX.

Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 24 Jan 2007 05:08:37 -0800






Coffee, No Cream

A man walks into a coffee shop and places his order."I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream."The girl behind the counter says "I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?"









Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.

Four Steps to Getting Richer

From the show This Is the Year to Get Richer!

Printer-Friendly Version


Financial expert Jean Chatzky wants you to stop making excuses and get richer! She has four simple steps anyone can follow to the path of financial success.

Maximize Your Income

Set an income goal.
Ask for a raise.
Work an extra hour a week.
Learn more about making more.

Spend Less Than You Make

Pause before you purchase.
Pay bills on time.
Use a debit card.
Shop around.
Find extra money for your savings.

Invest Money You Don't Spend

Save automatically.
Earn more interest.
Build your money confidence with Jean's investment basics.

Protect Your Money

Get insurance.
Get a will.
Get an account in your name.
Learn how to better secure your future.
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Oprah, The Oprah Winfrey Show, Harpo, Make The Connection, Oprah's Book Club, Use Your Life and Live Your Best Life are registered trademarks of Harpo, Inc. Oprah's Favorite Things and Oprah & Friends are trademarks of Harpo, Inc. Oprah's Angel Network and Angel Network are registered trademarks of Oprah's Angel Network. O Girls is a trademark of Oprah's Angel Network. Oprah Winfrey Scholars and O Design are trademarks of The Oprah Winfrey Foundation. Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls, Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls South Africa and O Design are trademarks of The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy Foundation. All rights reserved.




TM & © 2007 Harpo Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 18 Jan 2007 05:08:55 -0800






Yo Mama

Yo mama's so sorry she missed your birthday last week, she bought you a cake so big you gotta eat it twice to have it once!









Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.

Subject: Comedy Central's Joke of the Day Newsletter
Date: 17 Jan 2007 05:08:44 -0800






Girl and Dog

A little girl and her dog are walking through the forest when they suddenly fall into a pit. They scramble and scramble but can''t make their way out. The little girl yells, the dog barks, but no one is around to hear their calls for help. Slowly, the night sky turns black and they find themselves engulfed in utter darkness.

Off in the distance, the wolves begin howling. Each howl is louder and closer than the last.

The little girl holds the dog close to her chest and says sadly to the dog, "This is the worst mess in which ever have found ourselves, my darling Sparky."

"Yeah," the dog says, "we''re really screwed."

"Sparky," the girl says, astonished, "I didn''t know you could talk."

"Well," the dog says, "I was kinda waiting for the right time to tell you."









Comedy Central Daily Joke, 1775 Broadway, NY, NY 10019
Copyright © 1995 - 2006 Comedy Central. All rights reserved.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.”

Have been taking care of 11 stray outdoor cats for over a year trying to find homes for them. Need a large outdoor cat house for them to survive cold weather outdoors or need to have one built, preferably wood/waterproof for reasonable fee. Can't afford much. Live in Fort Worth, TX in TCU area.

wordtrix@Hotmail.com

Happy Birthday, hunny. You would've been 53 today. Hard to believe.